Sometimes you just can’t be still
and freeze the endless movement of your body parts.
Especially your mouth that’s been running amok
for six hours consecutively without a break.
I know people are watching me at work, in public
and even family when I get a chance to pull away to visit.
The sadness in their eyes tells the story of the death
and loss of a loving son that was on his way to bigger things.
Now darkness invades the best of me.
I roam through life passing my time with no true experience.
I’ve even consciously turned my back to my Master who gives love.
I’ve never needed to breath more than I do now.
This was written during the end of summer 2005 at work high on junk. It was the last thing I ever wrote high on drugs. Shortly after this written statement I found myself closer to recovery. I had been up for five days then fell out for a few hours. When I awoke, I didn’t know if it was day or night. I began sobbing for hours nonstop and I couldn’t stop it. I’m sure the neighbors heard me as I made a chicken sandwich in my kitchen. It was as if I was standing outside of my body observing this event within a dream. I went back to sleep for a few more hour. This time when I woke up, I felt fine and thought what a bad dream. I went to my kitchen and found the mess I made. That was the last day I used streets drugs to get high.
Copyright Rich Love © 2008