Nov/08

3

Run Out of Excuses

3 miles… gone
A long way from home when the light that you see has been turned off
You see, only in memory, but determined, you are
Learned before you came here that love ain’t shown the same where
Your come from it depends on
Can’t look at world around you for something felt within
Won’t listen to mouths telling you how it should have been
That’s what I had, and all I got
So don’t tell me not to want it again, you say
That deep breaths always help
Help you rationalize, help you compartmentalize
Help you speak in a way to show people what your needs are and why
Nerves always get the best of you
Life seemed like it was always testing your will to live or will to survive
Never both… well, at least, not at the same time
So you passed, so you made it
But no one at the finish line to tell you congratulations
Others tell you you’re not done, to keep trekking
Cause when you make it, you’ll feel like it’s yours
But you’re tired
1 mile… away
And the same thing that would make you keep going is the same thing that caused the almost-turn-back
The hits, the bruises, the chains, “he’s useless”
The cold summers, the purposeful blunders, to feel all the belts characteristics and wonders
Know them better than the makers
Study the acoustics when off the flesh
The tone, the pitch
Memories still fresh and would welcome them back if only for their intent
You
Complete and utter focus, but whip is inanimate
Credit to the master of ceremonies, have to excuse the range of emotions
From neutral to rage
Love you could never locate, but actions speak louder
Some people you tell this, for you, are incensed
But you don’t ask for much
Just… intent
2 knocks… to go
This porch evokes things you promised you would never show
Thought you’d find some kind of peace in the place you once knew, but now you remember why you often forget
No one came looking for you, and that one fact should make the feelings of forgiveness dissipate
They were right, you deserve better to have rejection being your only recognition
So do you stay or do you go… in?
You’re better than all that, but once you step into those walls you start to resemble pieces of shattered glass
No reflection needed, only know where you don’t need to be
But you’re tired
And you shouldn’t have to always be on the run
Maybe it could be different, you’ve grown and achieved some perspective
Just get what you need, the cold bed they provide
Because in the end, you’ve got more than enough
Deep breaths help you sleep at night
And…maybe… you just want to be home

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Kevin J

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