Dec/08

30

This Roof

I feel you
I think all things are possible because they are already alive
It’s our job to find it
Be prepared through the moments we get
All is waiting for me, when I’m ready.
I’m still too aware of what people think
I’m a little jealous of you because you’ll do what you want because you feel to
I promise I’ll never be embarrassed of any of it
I may not tell you this because any kid would take advantage of it,
But I don’t believe in right or wrong
It’s all just experience
I’ve spent too much time in pain because of the judgements
When you get here, it will probably be on-going.
I tried so many times to paint your eyes the tint mine could never reach
And I realized that I was just trying to rewrite myself
With a better beginning, middle and end
I promise I will never try to do that off a sketching pad, but I still feel compelled to make right by you
That’s what we call insecurity
I’m too young for most things but I feel like I could grow up for your sake
I’m probably not ready to shoulder the burden of another’s when I can’t even handle my own life
But I come through on most things I’m forced to do
But I don’t want to use you
I don’t want you to be brought here so I can conquer my fears
You deserve a life which the ends don’t have to justify anything
Especially these means.
Your mother, with any luck, will be the reincarnation of my own
Willing to give everything she has not to see you fall just because she knows you can fly if you’re given the chance
I’ll agree, and you’ll be the only thing we wouldn’t hold grudges over
Because your prospects are effortless
And we got and gave each other the opportunity to witness it
You can’t imagine how much planning we’d put into you for close to a year
And then have it all come down into pieces because we could never have predicted your uniqueness
We will do more than embrace you, we’ll just believe, and I know you’ll oblige
I love you, incredibly
Because I know you exist
I was talking about you when I said our immaculate conception was received before birth
I know that you’re just waiting for me to be ready
I thought I’d try to speed up the process
But I haven’t been blessed with your presence because there are still things I need to get in order
What I want for you is a solid home with a head that is steady
Everyday I try to make the right place for you
I want you to know that you are welcomed.
Not a burden or coincidence, just my best surprise
When it’s right, when I’m ready,
Come home

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Kevin J

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