FreestyleVision.com » catherine anne hayes

I Still Feel

catherine anne hayes — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:47:59 +0000

I Still Feel

Your hand
on the small of my back
I still feel
it’s imprint
the electrical spark
How you turned
my legs
to water
I still catch my breath
at the memory
of that first touch
Your eyes locked
on mine
as we kissed
that first time
Tingling
Trembling
I still feel
your mouth on me
taking
giving
I still feel…
You…

2009 copyright catherine anne hayes

To Aunt Stella

catherine anne hayes — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 05:30:02 +0000

To Aunt Stella
I remember as a little girl seeing you standing
with your arms filled with Birds of Paradise
Your smile as bright as your eyes.
I bubbled with joy…
“Aunt Stella!” burst from my lips as I ran to you
and then I was in your arms smothered in flowers…
all those years ago…
Precious is this memory and other memories too
that I have always held in my heart
and always will.
Things change…
Time marches on..
and unfortunately distance happens…
but loving never stops.
You are gone now
but no matter what
and no matter what happened
you are still a part of me
and in my loving heart.
God Speed Aunt Stella…

forever dance with Uncle Eddie amongst the stars.

2009 copyright catherine anne hayes 10/21/2009

To My Truth

catherine anne hayes — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:13:42 +0000

I stare at the empty page and the blinking cursor
and question
Is this the symbol of my life?
Feelings bubble up inside of me
like water boiling in a tea kettle
yet
like the steam that shoots out of the spout
and evaporates to nothing
I can form no words or thoughts
This is pain
This is frustration
This is disappointment in myself

I question
Am I afraid of my own truth?
and
if I face my truth will I be able to take it
not crumble under it’s weight?

I sit in front of this page now not so empty
with some words
With bald desire to open my truth
With shaking courage
I start….

Sleep

catherine anne hayes — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 01:04:51 +0000

In my twilight sleep I am aware of
My cheek resting against the wash worn soft cotton of my pillow
I faintly hear the nightingales sing their song
their tone imploring…seeking…
I awaken to the moonlight stealing through the blinds
and sigh…
and wonder
“Is this to be another night of lost sleep and dreams?”

I am so tired. Sleep eludes me.
The night and its sounds are my companions
where lately I feel safest.
Day time has become alien yet I know
it is there I need to be.
To function.
To live my life.

Night time…Sweet velvet night time.
Remembering my childhood.
Remembering my father.
Cuddling next to him on his bed.
His whispering in the summer darkness,
“Shhhh… Look out the window.
You can see the fairies out on the trees.”
Feeling such happiness there with him.
Feeling safe. Feeling love.

Now years later I wonder in these sleep deprived nights
“Do I still look for the fairies out in the trees?”

Sleep. Precious sleep. Elude me no more.

I Am Who I Am

catherine anne hayes — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 23:56:07 +0000

I am who I am
too old
too fat
disabled
yet
for today I am perfect
true
pain racks my body
rage runs through my mind
at things that are not right
but
I am who I am
I feel love
I am loved
I am full of passion
and
I have HOPE and FAITH
and THEY CANNOT take that away
from me
AS MUCH as they try
as long as my heart beats
as long as my spirit exists…

Coiled Spring

catherine anne hayes — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 23:27:25 +0000

I feel like a coiled spring
wound tight
about to
spring free
yet
day by day
tighter and tighter are my coils
rubbing against each other
creating friction
and sparks…
uncomfortable sparks
with pain in my body and soul.

How do I break free?
How do I let loose?
The pressure is building…
The sparks are burning…
I do not want to be like this…
Still…

For W

catherine anne hayes — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 22:19:04 +0000

About W

He stays with me
though he wants to be somewhere else but here
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Silently worrying
He is afraid he will lose me
He tries not to show it
He gets so angry
Fighting walls
Things that should not be
He is frustrated
Tired
Yet he stays
By me
He doesn’t give up
He loves me
So I won’t give up
I’ll keep going
Painful slow step
by
Painful slow step
He’s worth it.
I love him too.

2009 copyright catherine anne hayes

In The Void

catherine anne hayes — Sat, 30 May 2009 00:11:58 +0000

In my silence wrapped in veiled darkness
I wait…
You see I have slipped into this world of cushioned shadows…
aware
but not aware…
Sounds are far off…
Pins of light dance around like fireflies
blinking on and off…
on and off…
I float….
I am weightless…boneless…transparent…
but
I am here
I feel my heart beating
and hear my blood rushing through my veins
like the waves of the ocean.
I ride the waves
searching my way back…
looking for signs…
reaching out…
not wanting to slip further…
Must follow the light…
Must follow the sound…

Grab me…
Hold me…
Hear me…
See me…
I am here in this shell….
Breathing…
Wanting….
Loving…

I want to come back
I am fighting to come back
Look at me
Look at my eyes
Read what they say…

I do not want to fade away….
I will not fade away…

Miles Away

catherine anne hayes — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:27:41 +0000

I think of you miles away
and I am chilled.
For I want you
here
to ignite me.
I want you
on me
over me
in me
filling me
with your heat.
Hands playing my body
making me sing.

Time
do not tease me
any longer.
Bring you
my lover
to me.

Patience to Impatience

catherine anne hayes — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 00:39:27 +0000

Patience…I am asked
to have patience
but
as time goes by
I become more
and more
impatient
So many things said
they will be done
and are not
So many promises
broken
Have patience
It will be done
I wait
I wait
Tick tock
Tick tock
Time goes by
They never show up
It’s never done
Always an excuse
It adds up
Impatience
Every where I turn
Nothing done
I am waiting on
some one
Impatience
My life now is
Impatience

I no longer want
this Impatience
These broken promises
These useless words

I no longer accept them.

My Angel, My Own

catherine anne hayes — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 00:33:36 +0000

My Angel, My own…
take me back to the top
of our mountain where
it all began.
Lay with me
in the clouds
and kiss me
like you did
Make my body tremble
Reclaim what is yours
to take.
You are my passion…
My hunger…
My need for you is great…
Am I a fool
to tell you all?
Perhaps…
But…
that chance I will take
for you are worth
the risk.
It is you who
I want.
You
who I crave.
You
who make me sing….
Come
take me to the mountain soon.

For Aunt Mary

catherine anne hayes — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:42:56 +0000

The sun shines so brightly
and the birds sing their song
but my soul is very sad
for you are here no more.
You showed me how to make things
and to see beauty with different eyes
and with your own particular style
you opened up new worlds to me.
These gifts have stayed with me
and have guided me through life.
For this I will never forget…
and even though we were estranged
at the end
you were still in my heart
and
will always be in my heart.

God Speed Aunt Mary…I’ll always love you…

26 Months

catherine anne hayes — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:29:28 +0000

26 months from a cloud covered mountain

to a rain soaked evening
and yet
I still yearn
I burn for you as bright as ever
If anything
my desire
to hear the timbre
of your voice
to feel your hands
on the side of my face
as you look deeply into my eyes
before you join your mouth to mine
has increased
It is an ever growing flame
that you ignite in me
You still have the power
to make me tremble
with your touch
to make me weak kneed
to give me such joy
Oh my sweet
how I will show my desire for you
Let me come to you soon

Rain Soaked 3:00AM

catherine anne hayes — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 00:51:13 +0000

3:00AM and the rain beats
against my windows
and all I can think of
is you
I think of the nape
of your neck
and
how it would feel
against my lips
as I snugged down closer
against you
my breasts pressed into
your back
my arms
around your waist
intimately
close
my hands finding
and holding
you
there…
Yes…
stroking..
growing…
turning…
opening…
entering…
taking…
yes…
this is what I want
this rain soaked night…
You..
I want you…

Wine Infused Kisses

catherine anne hayes — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 02:18:25 +0000

Wine infused kisses…
Heady..
Intoxicating…
I would sip your wine
and then
lean over
and kiss you
Open your mouth
with mine
and let the wine stream in
as I deeply
very deeply
kiss you…
Tongues dancing…
Breaths mingling…
Are you tingling now?
Tell me…

Pulled

catherine anne hayes — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 00:47:32 +0000

I heard your voice.
I looked up.
Eyes locked
and in that instant
I loved you.
Deeply.
Fully.
Irrevocably.

Pulled I was
by a force greater
than my own
into you arms.
Eyes locked.
Lips touching…
Opening.
Breaths mingling.
Souls knowing each other
for the first time.

Some would say it’s sinful.
Others condemn.
In their close-mindedness
what do THEY know of love…
of bodies meant to become one.
I pity them.

Let them condemn.
Let them judge.
It matters not.
I have your love
and my love is yours…
my body yours….
given completely.

My Desire For You Right Now

catherine anne hayes — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 00:37:51 +0000

Let us create our own erotic tropical paradise with
voodoo magic in the air. Rest assured my sweet, that
you will have the release and gratification that your
soul and body crave. See me in your minds’
eye at this moment that I am naked in my
bed…my very fair skin glowing ivory white against the deep ruby of my bed sheets…my hair spread against the
pillows…my nipples, their pink colour deepening with
my erotic thoughts and my eyes smoldering with that
blue green colour that is found only in the
Gulf…my lips beckoning you…my
laptop is balanced on my tummy as I type this…I wish it was your warmth that I feel emanating from it… mmmmm… my legs just move apart and my back slightly arches with the thought of your body laying…pressing against mine…can you feel the points of my nipples pressed against your chest now? Come to me…take me to your bed…lose yourself in me…lap up my honey and kiss my “pearl” till you are drenched with my nectar… do not make us wait any longer.

Dare I Ask?

catherine anne hayes — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 23:29:53 +0000

You intrigue me
your wit
the way you turn a phrase
the way you see things
your passion for things
for life
so
it makes me wonder
what it would be like
to be kissed
by you
taken in your arms
and deeply
and
thoroughly
kissed…

I wonder
what it would be like
to be
in your bed
your scent surrounding me
my hands caressing
you
as you open me up
and plunge
deep
inside….

I wonder….

How Do I

catherine anne hayes — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:52:36 +0000

How do I talk to you
after all this time
You who are
the same as me
yet
so very different
You
with whom we shared
youth
and formed dreams
and through adversity
rejoiced in the
arrival of
your child
My love for you
never ended
but
the hurt you caused
runs as deep
as my love
for you now
What am I to do
Dear God…
What am I to do…
I want you back
but
I don’t know how
to let you in
without feeling
this hurt
this rage
You are my flesh
You are my blood
I do love you
but I don’t know
what to do

The Prize

catherine anne hayes — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 01:42:09 +0000

Two forces dance around
each other
trying to get
the prize…

The prize is
tired of their silly
games…
The more the forces
push closer
and dance
the further the prize
retreats..

One day
the prize said
ENOUGH!!
Then the 2 forces
Stopped.
They had to.
The prize wasn’t listening
and there was blissful
silence.

Things could begin anew.