FreestyleVision.com » Chris Driscoll

An Irish Pub

Chris Driscoll — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:41:58 +0000

Tucked away on many urban corners
An array of patrons ranging from newlyweds to mourners

Where draft beer flows with refreshing ales
From the darkest lagers to the blondest pales

You just popped in to quench your thirst
But your self composure must have been cursed

For there you remained until the very last call
Swigging brews and having a ball

The behavior you displayed was mighty troubling
You certainly would have mortified the mayor of Dublin

Even the Leprechaun had to shield his eyes
And the four leaf clover wilted with shock and surprise

As you ordered up a shot of whiskey from the tired barkeep
The statue of St. James actually began to weep

And poor Mr. Murphy, the one who wrote the famous law
Was simply aghast at what he saw

The next morning dawned with a hangover so savage
You should have stayed home and ate corned beef and cabbage

Las Vegas

Chris Driscoll — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 13:49:30 +0000

Limping gamblers sporting fanny packs
Aching to beat the odds against the dealer’s stacks
Smoke from Marlboros, Camels and Salem Lights

Very red eyes and very long nights
Exotic dancers and Chippendales
Go-go Girls with glitter nails
All the cab drivers are from kingdoms so very far far away
So if it happens in Vegas… we all hope that’s where it will stay!

Red Wine

Chris Driscoll — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:50:20 +0000

Robust and dark
Your happy as a lark
Fruity and dry
Now your gonna cry???
Oh grapes of wrath
Get outta my path
Aromas pungent and so very bold
What fables and dark secretes have you told?
Such a smooth satiny oaky finish
As your number of friends seems to diminish
Organic with not one single tannin
Now your louder than a pirates cannon
Nuances of honey
Even screw cap is worth the money
Merlot
Oh no!
A fine Cabernet
Keeps reality at bay
Zinfandel
Hangover from hell
Pinot noir
Your the star of the bar
Spain, Chile and the California coast
Bottles of what you regret the most
Nether regions of central Spain
The burgundy thunder causing steady weight gain
And least we forget Italy’s vines
Uncorking heavy drama and countless driving fines
As soon as you are not able
To read that fine vintage’s label
Pay that tab – all the moneys due
Get some change, because you’ll surely have to pay the piper too!

Two girls trying to have a drink

Chris Driscoll — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 13:54:01 +0000

From under which rock did you crawl?
Inviting you over I do not recall
No flicker of interest was ever displayed
No eye contact ever made
Poly jacket and vinyl shoes
Over bleached teeth and too much booze
Mighty assuming and uncouth
Perhaps you should call Dr. Ruth
Dare we accept this just one dance
And then run for cover when we have the chance
Because this lower life form cant quite understand
The interaction ends along with the band
Our time is worth more than a $5 drink
I wonder why men are not extinct
The purse snaps shut. and then were out the door
Quothe the women Never More.

The timescare presentation

Chris Driscoll — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 13:51:10 +0000

We all know a time share shmuck
Those presentations are so hard to duck
Buy a week in Detroit and with relative ease
Exchange for an exotic location with a tropical breeze
An alluring gift, sometimes money
You don’t qualify without your honey
If you have no credit card, you’re an ass
Through the hostess you will not pass
Perhaps you’re older than 67
You can’t bank your week if your already in heaven
If the fractional ownership concept you do not conceive
That free crock pot you may not receive
For 75 minutes they will trouble you
Make you feel like a P.O.W.
In that Dungeon you will stay
Until you figure out how to pay
For those two weeks of future fun
Snag that foreclosure There’s only One.

Adios

Chris Driscoll — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 13:41:00 +0000

Time is something we should never waste
It’s intangible and impossible to replace
So why do we spend years with some dumb ass guy
And always try to justify
For the small fact he has no career
While your paychecks disappear
The unromantic thoughtless sort
While you need a years supply of St. John’ wart
He can’t remember how to spell your last name
But hell Never forget whose playing in the game
For all those times he was M. I. A.
And you actually believed what he had to say
But the important thing is that we learn
What Not to accept around the next turn
The assessment should not be a five year plan
You grade that paper as soon as you can
If he’s a C or below
He’s Got To Go
Less than average just can’t compete
He gets the ejector seat

20/20

Chris Driscoll — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 13:40:10 +0000

I’ve often heard that love is blind
Perhaps you’re vision should be refined
No eye surgery could ever correct
Those feeling of amore we resurrect
Not telescope could help us foresee
Even the Tinest fault with “my love for thee”
It’s not until your friends suggest
That perhaps he is not the best
Of all the candidates you could find
But by now you’ve gone legally blind.
You know it’s bad when Mama called
Just to tell you how appalled
They would be if they ever saw
Him become their son in law
Of course you think they’re all crazy
Until when fine day you’re vision is a lesser hazy
He used to be my super hero
But in the hall of justice he was a big fat zero
Eventually we realize for ourselves
There’s a lot better books on the shelf

I’m sorry you’re not gainfully employed

Chris Driscoll — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:48:42 +0000

You’re rounding the bend towards middle age
Not even earning minimum wage
you’re parents are so very annoyed
That you have never really been gainfully employed
A briefcase and Brooks Brothers you have not
Himalayan satchel and Birkenstocks is what you’ve got
Occasional jobs to keep the shoestring from breaking
Canoe guide, den leader and martini shaking
Did you have any entrepreneurial contemplation
While shining slot machines on the reservation?
Did you perhaps think there may be something better
While you were knitting that Alpaca sweater?
But you’ve been to Paris and you’ve been to France
Maria Maria taught you to Tango Dance
You scaled Everest and made it alive
But you are terrified of 9-5
A free spirit -that you are
But you have no money to buy a car
You must think that this is the way
How much do you have in you’re 401K?
It’s no fun being old and poor
With arthritis and strokes knocking at your door
A nest egg is vital so get in gear
Please don’t wait not another year
To start a career that you won’t abhor
You might start by interviewing with the Peace Corps (1-800-4xx-8580)

Happy Hour

Chris Driscoll — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:46:51 +0000

Lets go out for just one drink
We’ll be home by 11 don’t ya think?
A few sips of wine to pass the time
A mug of beer to lend some cheer
The birds are chirping and the sky is blue
Until someone buys a shot for you
You’re on the fence but you can still
Stop that car from going down hill
Familiar intersection which way shall I go?
Refill the goblet of merlot
It’s the wrong turn you can bet
I might as well have a cigarette
Happy hours, hours and hours…
I think ill have one of those whisky sours
Something to enhance you’re alegria?
send over a pitcher of sangria
It REALLY is a crying shame
Now that you’ve veered into the brake down lane
One final vodka tonic
That relationship used to be platonic
A glass of champagne would really be neat
But now your buckled in you’re new best friend’s passenger seat
The birds aren’t chirping and the sky is grey
Tis not a lovely day
Scary flashbacks and a vile headache
You should have pulled the emergency brake.

Deceived

Chris Driscoll — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:44:18 +0000

Your heart is singing life is gold star
So joyous the relationship has come so far
He’s the man of your dreams with livable flaws
He buys you flowers just because
He has your heart
And so you start
Building a life with a white picket fence
On several occasions you have ignored
When your intuition has implored
For you to review prince charming grace
Without rose colored glasses strapped to your face
One fine day just by chance
You happen to take a random glance
upon evidence that’s So concrete
You must face the fact that he’s a cheat
Its hard to breathe, your hearts like stone
This went on while you were sharing a home
You feel like a fool, and ignorant dunce
It obviously happened a lot more than once
It’s no use to even try denying
For the past few years he’s been lying (in someone else’s bed)
You’re devastated and seething mad
But in due time you will be so glad
That his ugly colors eventually showed
This prince was really a toad