::12:10:07::

::: Vice Versa :::

I wish that I could strip my son of his DNA
Take away his fathers name and
I know what some of you may say
“another baby’s momma’”
looking to stir up some drama
But not so
You see, I gave birth three days after my eighteenth birthday
Now of course his father didn’t stay but
I was a child and he was twenty-eight
On our first date
We went to the movies… I don’t even think he paid for anything but
At the young age of sixteen... I thought
“oh he must be the man for me”
“a grown man wanting to spend time with me”
Turns out he wasn’t so grown after all u see
Cuz now Almost 10 years later I cant even imagine
Trying to catch myself with a boyfriend, who has to be in the house by ten,
Who cant even talk on the phone without his momma listening
You see he was twenty eight
I wasn’t even allowed to date
So... He would sneak me out the house at 2am
Tell me how beautiful I am
He did absolutely nothing for me but offer me sweet words that were masked by his massive erection and desire to bone a virgin girl and f*ck the cost I might have to pay
Cuz sh*t… with me- he don’t even have to pay for my meal
Just make me feel beautiful and prey on my teenage insecurities
Hoping and praying ill open my knees
Cuz see, with me, he didn’t even have to be a real man
Because I didn’t know a damn thing about being a woman
But believe me, if I was half the woman I am now
His ass wouldn’t have made it to first base you see
Men like him are a disgrace but now I love to see the look on his sorry ass face
When he sees me taking his place
And doing it damn well
Even though he thought I would fail cuz’ he left me there with a two week old baby and no money.. but honey please these streets made me tougher and now I am a fighter and I am a damn good provider and you are nothing but a coward. A coward who didn’t even help by sending money once a year even in a birthday card and I know this may be hard to hear
But not as hard as raising a child alone
You are the one thing I despise and
I hate that my child bears your eyes
If only I could strip him from your DNA
Because he will always carry his fathers name
But I’ll be damned if he will carry his fathers ways
Turning a positive on a pregnancy test into a negative
I will teach him how to live

Now that he is older you want to be “daddy”
well that’s fine with me cuz I have faith that one day our son will see
that you are nothing but a sorry ass man
and I wont even tell him how your fist hit my face during nine months gestation
or the frustration of remembering the bottle of vinegar you made me drink ---because you said it helped with morning sickness! Naw, I wont tell him about that business!
I wont tell him how his daddy called me a fat b*tch, a whore and a slut during my teenage pregnancy!
I wont tell him that I despise all his fathers ancestry-- And who he comes from
I wont tell him none of that cuz’ you see the fact is
I know that I am partly to blame its just a shame that I was too young to understand the pain
That my son and I would go through but one thing remains true
Even at such a young age I stood up to my responsibilities
Which is more than anyone can say about you
So I wont tell him all the lowdown dirty things you put me through
Cuz when your ass started walkin’ that was all the talkin’ I needed to do
And if I am doing it right. one day he will see through
All your bullsh*t and the lies you wanna say about me
He will see, I was a better mother and father than you could ever be
You see, you’re the reason why little boys grow up to be deadbeats
Why little boys take on such heavy loads
Why little boys walk down such unforgotten roads
From having an overworked momma
Taking the slack for daddy’s absence
You’re the reason why little boys grow up without knowing what a family is
Therefore cant be a daddy to their own kids
So they run from commitment and run from their seeds
Run from providing for their women’s needs
Run from relationships and responsibilities
Run around and do as they please
So you and your no good ass
should be down on your knees
thanking your lucky stars that
the young girl you met
turned out to be me.

Written by: ~ SoftHoney