I search
to find memories
of love
between my mother
and I
and
not let
the harangued remembrances
corrupt
It is very
hard
The bad ones
interfere
too much
I long
I need
to remember her
with love
I know
there were
some
good times
They are
like precious pearls
Lucent
suffused memories
I do love her
but
I am
still
choked
in pain
Frozen inside
an important
part
of me
The need
to protect
myself
is so
strong
yet
the binds that
choke me
are
becoming
tighter
Squeezing me
Squeezing the breath
out of me
Squeezing the heart
out of me
Squeezing my soul out
My pain is too much
The binds must be shorn
before
I break
Must find a way
to sever them
The key
is my memories
Memories
of her
My mother
Remembering
the good
Remembering
no matter what
she
did love me
Life
is not perfect
Healing
is in
forgiving
Can I forgive?
Is it
in me to?
I think so
It resides
in the memories
The memories of love

© copyright 5/22/2014 catherine anne hayes