::12:04:07::

::: R-E-D With an Attitude :::

With this name no wonder a wolf almost eats me.
Why couldn’t you call me Jane, Kay or Mary-Lee,
Why did it have to be freaking Red-Riding-Hood,
Was that horrid tri-name supposed to make me good?

Do I have to wear this stupid red cape all day?
Do you know what the children at school always say?
All of my friends are wearing the latest fashion
Meanwhile I hate this red cape with such a passion!

Ma, I’m sure you see that red does not become me!
Don’t you care what all the kids at school think of me?
If you don’t take me shopping for a new wardrobe
I am going to disappear from off the globe.

I’m positive if you were the least bit aware
Of pedophiles, kidnappers, wild animals there
You wouldn’t let me return to my Grandma’s house
There are no neighbors, it’s as quiet as a mouse.

Do not get me wrong, Ma, I do love my Granny
But I am simply too young to be her nanny
And I’m also tired of being her housemaid
So get her a companion or a home-health-aide.

What, Ma? You think I should calm down and be quiet
And I shouldn’t dare to cause a royal riot?
Did you say, look how humble Cinderella is
And that you think girls like her are going places?

Well, guess what, the Titanic was going places too
And look where she ended up... under the deep blue.
And that Cindy girl, she has only one glass shoe
Isn’t she smart enough to know that folks wear two?

Anyway, if it wasn’t for that woodcutter
My hide would now be against the sun like butter.
So Ma, I beg of you, have a heart: change my name
Or I’ll be happy to go back from whence I came.

What! you’ve changed your mind? I’m getting a make-over, Ma
But only if I keep my trade-mark red cape, Ha!
Thank you so much, Ma, I just knew you understood
That my roots did not justify Red-Riding-Hood!

Written by: ~ JamdownJenny