::03:18:09::

::: June 6, 2010 :::

I see you've been looking at my profile again.

Did you know that you have only looked at it once on the weekend since you've been gone? Always Monday through Friday…usually after I have just arrived at work.

I see you…
catalyzed anew…
breathing fresh smiles.

I think of how I am in this darkness trapped. No home.

Of:
this jail cell with two beds
one full, one twin
7 chairs and
1 person

I think of:
5 visitors in 4 months
a little man, who hasn't seen his lonely room
and

the absence of this love,
so heavy it has me bear-trapped
and gnawing my painting hand
half to feel that I'm struggling and
half to limp away freshly crippled.

I think:
of the dirty life I am not living in: an organism too
far detached from its environment
- gapped too wide
complete with the clap
and bodies too used,
too broken
to be owned.

I'm not over, don't get me wrong…
just walking dead
in survival mode
raw breathed
and devouring the cheap…
the vulgar
selling my self
behind these masks

In search of something to hug
besides
these songs that hurt my liver.
I am searching for answers
because jiggling the handle
isn't helping this sh*t go down.

June 6, 2010…I will be 26
-with 8.33 months remaining.

Finally, something to look forward to.

Written by: ~ Jeremiah D. Reeves