Archive for September 2009

I stare at the empty page and the blinking cursor
and question
Is this the symbol of my life?
Feelings bubble up inside of me
like water boiling in a tea kettle
like the steam that shoots out of the spout
and evaporates to nothing
I can form no words or thoughts
This is pain
This is frustration
This is disappointment in myself

I question
Am I afraid of my own truth?
if I face my truth will I be able to take it
not crumble under it’s weight?

I sit in front of this page now not so empty
with some words
With bald desire to open my truth
With shaking courage
I start….

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2009

No tags Hide

In my twilight sleep I am aware of
My cheek resting against the wash worn soft cotton of my pillow
I faintly hear the nightingales sing their song
their tone imploring…seeking…
I awaken to the moonlight stealing through the blinds
and sigh…
and wonder
“Is this to be another night of lost sleep and dreams?”

I am so tired. Sleep eludes me.
The night and its sounds are my companions
where lately I feel safest.
Day time has become alien yet I know
it is there I need to be.
To function.
To live my life.

Night time…Sweet velvet night time.
Remembering my childhood.
Remembering my father.
Cuddling next to him on his bed.
His whispering in the summer darkness,
“Shhhh… Look out the window.
You can see the fairies out on the trees.”
Feeling such happiness there with him.
Feeling safe. Feeling love.

Now years later I wonder in these sleep deprived nights
“Do I still look for the fairies out in the trees?”

Sleep. Precious sleep. Elude me no more.

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2009

No tags Hide

I am who I am
too old
too fat
for today I am perfect
pain racks my body
rage runs through my mind
at things that are not right
I am who I am
I feel love
I am loved
I am full of passion
I have HOPE and FAITH
and THEY CANNOT take that away
from me
AS MUCH as they try
as long as my heart beats
as long as my spirit exists…

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2009

No tags Hide

I feel like a coiled spring
wound tight
about to
spring free
day by day
tighter and tighter are my coils
rubbing against each other
creating friction
and sparks…
uncomfortable sparks
with pain in my body and soul.

How do I break free?
How do I let loose?
The pressure is building…
The sparks are burning…
I do not want to be like this…

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2009

No tags Hide

jay-z blueprint3

The highly awaited return of Hova… As always, this is a big deal in the music industry. Jay-z is the rap industry standard. He has several classic albums in his catalogue and almost every rapper around today has been influenced by Jay. (Although not all will admit it!) His last studio album “American Gangster” was, in my eyes, a classic and probably one of the best rap albums in the last five years. A perfect send off for my beloved “dope boy” music.

This album is different… “The Blueprint 3” was supposed to be a return to form from “The Blueprint” of old (Hence the name). Jay fell short of this almost impossible task. On the intro “What we talking bout” Jay does his thing delivering witty real life motivated rhymes over smooth dreamy production from Kanye West & No I.D. On this track Jay touches on his Credits, other rappers, and disgruntle fans. This is something Jay does often and very well.

“I ain’t talking bout profit
I’m talking bout pain
Talking bout despair
I’m talking bout shame
… talking bout gossip
I ain’t talking bout Game
I ain’t talking bout Jimmy
I ain’t talking bout Dame
I’m talking bout real shit
Them people playing
What is you talking bout?
I don’t know what ya’ll saying
People keep talking bout Hov take it back
I doing better than before
Why would I do that?”

This track is one of my favorites on the album. Jay really goes in with those thoughtful game changing raps you love him for. Next is “Thank You” also by Kanye West & No I.D. The track is more lively but still dreamy and is driven by a brass ensemble. Jay has a playful fake modestly flow on this track… ok track.

“Please don’t bow in my presence
How am I a legend?
I just got 10 number one albums
Maybe now eleven”

The next two tracks are singles “D.O.A.” and “Run This Town” ft Kanye West and Rihanna. These are two of the better tracks on the album. Then “Empire State of Mind” ft Alicia Keys which was produced by Al Shux. This is a soulful New York tribute with Miss Keys on the hook over smart production. These three songs kinda actually take you to the blueprint era in a strange way.

“As Real as It Gets” ft Young Jeezy is up next. This track produced by The Incredibles and is a sound everyone wants…apparently. This is another dope boy celebration song from the duo. (Think “Dope Boyz Go Crazy”) Jeezy contributes a verse and this hook.

“Now put ya sets in the air
If you represent ya click
Money in the air
If you ever hit a lick
Hands in the air
If you know that you that bitch
You say you looking for the real?
Well this as real as it gets”

“On to the Next One” produced by Swizz Beatz is a classic Jay/Swizz combo as it comes off well. But the next track “Off That” ft Drake produced by Timberland is another of the better tracks on the album, but Drake only gets to do the hook The track , of course, is bouncy and kinda futuristic I heard this track first on the Bill O’reilly show. (LOL) Jay dissed big chains, rims, oversized clothes, Tims, Bill O’reilly, and Rush Limbaugh in the same song….dope song. I love it when rappers beef with none rappers!

“This ain’t black versus white my nigga
We off that
Please tell Bill O’reilly to fall back
Tell Rush Limbaugh to get off my balls
Is 2000 and 10 not 1864”

“A Star is Born” ft J. Cole, produced by Kanye West & No I.D. is a corny tribute song to rap superstars….but J. Cole KILLS THIS SHIT! I will not quote this verse. Just listen to it. He could be one of raps new stars. Anyway, “Venus vs. Mars” and “Reminder” produced by Timberland are not really note worthy songs and to be honest after listening to them the whole way through a few times… I couldn’t bring myself to do it again.

“Already Home” ft Kid Cudi (Only on the Hook) produced by Kanye West hit the mark and reminds me of the original blueprint. He throws jabs at a few un-named rappers (Jones, Game, etc.). Pretty dope song.
“Hate” ft and produced by Kanye West is another gem on BP3. There is no hook on this song and Kanye’s production kinda sounds like some Timberland stuff. Jay plays with a Kanye style over enunciation flow and Kanye even spits a bit.

“We ballin
Eatin yall food leavin dishes
Why these niggas always talking leer talk Ye?
And why I never see em at the clearport Ye?”

On “So Ambitious” Jay goes in and smoothes out another dope track over a laid back Neptunes track.(Dem drum rolls are hot!) He gets a good hook courtesy of Pharrell and does the introspective Jay thing. It comes off well. The second verse was sick.

“Had to lace up my boots even harder
Father is far away to Father
Further more… all the
Kids either smoke refer
Or either move white’s
There’s few writers
In my cipher
So they made light of
My type’a
Dream seem dumb
They said wise up
How many guys’a
You see making it from here?
I world don’t like us
Is that not clear?”

“Young Forever” ft Mr. Hudson produced by Kanye West sucks! All do respect to Kanye, who does a very nice track. Jay’s flow sounds lame and dated on this one. This is one of the cheesiest songs on BP3.

So what you got here is some hot songs and some lame songs just like most of the albums out right now. After bumping it for a few days straight upon getting it…I stopped played it, with the exception a couple of songs. Probably a 7 out of 10, The generosity is due to Jay-z’s ability to rap his ass off! Compared to other Jay-z albums Blueprint 3 is not a good when placed against an album such as “Kingdom Come”.

No tags Hide


“Loso’s way”, the latest album from Fabolous, is no disappointment. He delivers his trademark punch-line style flow all over the album. This album like any album from Fab has it’s share of radio friendly joints, at least four, but Fab really shines on tracks you probally couldn’t picture Loso on five years ago. The first on which is “its my time”, a track produced by the runners, sounds like a track more adept for down south kings T.I. or Jeezy . Instead Fab filled in pretty well with a down south style cadence.

“ First I take a timeout
Then I put the time in
Money aint everything
Its more about your timing.”

On the very next track, “Imma Do It”, Fab sounds like old Fab with a little bit of Young Jeezy sprinkle on top. This track was produced by DJ Khalid and is one of the better songs on the ablum. Fab switch pitches on this one. Fliping his style like a kung-fu master back and fouth form old Fab’s one two style to new down south style Fab (The Fab from the “Rockin that shit remix”) and both are pretty dope. He flips back and fourth from southpaw for most the album. On the next track produce by J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League he plays with Rick Ross’s back and fourth adlib style.

“Free at Last
(Free at Last)
She used to send me pictures
So I could see that ass”

Loso jumped on two tracks from Ryan Leslie…dope, probably the best sound for Loso. On “Everything, Everyday, Everywhere” ft. Keri Hilston and “The Fabolous Life” Fab does his thang…well. “The Fabolous Life” fab hits the world with the smooth pac flow over a smooth beat and he quotes Rick Ross and Jeezy.

“She fuck wit niggas like Fabolous
Cause to tell the truth baby
Life’s fabulous”

“It’s a fabulous thang
One white one yellow like Fabolous chain”

All and all this is a good CD, especially if you like Fab. Probably a 7 out of 10.

No tags Hide

Find it!

WP theme Design by