catherine anne hayes – Page 5

To Donna, Cassady, Kayla, Eve and Shea for John Thomas Kelly Jr. 3/6/2011

I remember us as children…
Dancing to merry tunes
and
wearing pristine white dresses
like little brides on our First Communion Day…
and
kelly green Girl Scout uniforms….
You with
bouncing brown curls
and shining eyes
the rosiest cheeks
and
the sweetest of smiles…
Who grew up
and a wonderful man fell in love
with you
and you with him…
You both forged out in this
beautiful land to
God’s own country
and made a beautiful life
with
your lovely daughters
you were blessed with….
But who knows why
things happen to
the kindest and nicest of men…
I pray God I knew…
I wish I could take
your pain away
like I took your hand
in our childhood games
and dances…
Instead
I take you and your daughters
into my heart
and my soul
and share my light within
to help light yours
to remind you
he is there too
The light within shines eternal
like God’s love
always
within
always
around
never
ever
ending…

All my love…..Cathie Hayes Ulasinski

Hiding Amongst Words

I am no where to be found
as I
disappearing in between
the space of
inconsequential words
and
thoughtless feelings

Barely as a shadow
I exist
and only flutter
to life
when
a true kindness
is said
and tentatively
become content

Warmth flows in
and I am
whole
for a while
till
the next time
when
reminded

It begins again

I slip
back in the shadows
and slip between
the cold comfort
of
the inconsequential words
and hide.

Letting Go

No more will I look to mountain tops
and think of wild kisses
and shivers down my spine
No more will a song cause me to
pause
and remember
for
I am finally letting go
after all this time
I know now
we
were never to be
we were just
a brief
dream
a
wonderful
magical
dream
but
now
as all good things do
it ends
So
my loving
beautiful
exquisite
friend
I am
letting you go
I am saying
my sweet
good bye…

Dearest James, Jackie & Family

Even thought
She has left this life
She is not gone
She has not
left you
She glows
inside you
She shines so bright
She is your light within
Feel her warmth
Take heart
You
Are never alone
Her love is in you
Around you
Always
Infinitely

Be not sad
Celebrate her
Honour her
by living your life
the way SHE wanted
You to live it
And that
is to be
Happy
Joyful
Full of Love

With much love…Cathie and Walter, Bella & Tony.

For Lil’ Buddy

On a cold February afternoon 2 years ago
our lives were forever changed when
we saw your picture
we fell in love
a phone call made and lots of questions
Then off in the car
half our later you are here
you are home
our Lil’ Buddy
scared
dirty
hurting
hungry
shaking
With one tiny step at a time and lots of love
and care you bloomed
and grew to trust us
and love us…
with Bella Bird we were a family
A wonderful loving family for 2 magical years
of many cuddles, kisses, giggles, adventures, sharing food…
parties with friends
and times of companionable silence…
A blessed shining 2 years
whose light has dulled now
You are gone now our precious Lil’Buddy
Gone from this life
but a light in our hearts…
We love you..
We will never forget you sweet Bud Bud.

4 Feb 2010 Copyright catherine hayes ulasins

For Stacy

How do I find the words…
Describe what stirs inside
of me
as I think of you
now gone
suddenly…
Tinkling laughter heard
and
sweet music remembered
from years back created
by you…
A sweet smile…
A very bright child…
A protective sister…
Rebellious daughter
but loving
yes loving…
Confusion sets in
Many waves of confusion
with building blocks of
stubborness and
non communication…
The pain of it all
then YOU putting out
your light…WHY?
Dear girl…
Still VERY MUCH
LOVED girl…
For loving you
NEVER stopped…
Things got in
the way…
Now is the time to soothe
the hurts…
Do not blame
Remember the good
Forgive
Someday
Go to the light
Rest
Be at peace…

8 January 2011 copyright catherine anne hayes

Dreamlessly

she twirled through the mists
dancing
to far away music
that she barely
could hear
the ground
was uneven
slippery
slanted
she swung out her hands
to prevent her
fall
and she awoke
in her bed
in a tumble of sheets
blinking
panting
slighting
sweating
another
disturbed dream
she stares
at nothing
nothing
to see
in the darkness
nothing
to feel
in the darkness
no comfort
to be found
in the darkness
again
she tries to sleep
maybe
this time
dreamlessly
Dear God
for once
let it be
dreamlessly…

copyright 10/25/2010 catherine anne hayes

Learning Life ( for Dawn )

In the duskiness of the early morning
she rises no matter
how little
her sleep
her face tight from the many tears
that she cried
through
the night
the empty space next to her
a reminder
he
is not there
why
it is not fair
why
did he
have to go
why
did he
leave her
to
face everything
alone
everyone says that she is not
alone but that is
bull
they don’t know
they
don’t walk in her shoes
they don’t live in
her body
feel her pain
lie in this
empty
cold
bed
alone….
A single ray of sun creeps slowly through the gloom
touches her face
she blinks
a single tear
a sigh
she stands
remembers to breathe
and starts another
day
learning life
without him

How I See You ( for Suzi )

A fire cracker
A wise cracking smarty mouth
larger than life
who I wouldn’t want to be
any other way…
A beauty
A jewel
Tough on the outside
Scarred by life
but
deep inside
still willing
to hope
full of love
deserving
of love…

Keep your head held high
sweet girl
you are an original
you are special
You are You

Lucky are we to be
loved by you…

Too Familiar

I am way to familiar
with the middle
of the night now.
It used to be
a wonderful thing.
A feeling of
freedom
and
creativity.
Now
I feel the darkness
and
the loneliness.
I long for sleep
but it eludes me.
More and more.
It teases me…
Brushes my fingers
Just
when I think
I have it in my grasp
and
I can pull
it’s comforting mantle over me
it quickly slips
away.

What is the secret?
What is it that I have to do?
I feel like I have forgotten how…

I am so tired…