Author: nyte

Suspended above my body, I watch and await
Counting the seconds till I make my great escape
Late since birth I haven’t arrived for my own scene
Criticizing my own rights, I’ve ambushed my dreams
So quick to doubt when my gift needs no holiday
Recognized religiously, daily no matter how they pray
On their knees, on their feet, they see what I ignore
Focused on the crack when it’ll lead to an open door
Locusts plague my back and I fear they’ll be hungry for more
Envisioning a bottomless soul with out a core
Sometimes I don’t even know what I am fighting for…

unbreakable bond
four years strong
plastic females trap with their plastic love
convinced they got you with what never really was
with me its different
she had 5 years of lies that left u distant
unbreakable bond unafraid, strong, black

(jaynitty and nyte, new york)

its funny how time allows ink to dry,
after the storm of watered down colors one shade magnifies,
its funny how time allows a heart to mend,
after the chords are pulled someone assists in reattaching them,
its funny how time allows the worst to occur,
after the pain the black and blue seem as if they never were,
its funny how time ticks slow but tocks fast when in a dilemma,
after what seems to be an endless story, you live to reply to “and then what?”
its funny how time allows karma to unfold,
after the warmth returns to your body the hottest of hells seem cold.
In due time

a war of words & emotions erupts each night,
a war leaving one doomed to stress and the other doomed to repeat his steps to the next fight,
a war fought by two adults with no results besides more air to fill the gap,
a pool of thoughts pours into my brain, the weight causes my backbone to crack,
one equips herself with an arsenal of patience,
the other injects himself with sedations of intoxication,
pushed to the edge, she searches for an end to the story,
those who’ve skipped through the pages quickly amplify their endless opinions inventory,
elevating the molecules that linger below the surface,
dismissing his own faults, he curses with no clear purpose,
searching for an escape from this cycle of madness,
searching for a detour from an endless road of sadness.

I must confess, I love you more than you’ll ever understand
love you unconditionally even though only HALF of you is my man
love you unconditionally even though you flirt yet consider it cool
love you unconditionally–wait, damn I’m a fool!
damn, where have I gone? my self worth slowly fades
allowed the sweet words of a partial boyfriend to steer me away
what about my happiness? don’t I deserve more than a crumb of the cake you’ve eaten so slowly?
or am I really just a victim of self inflicted pain that preys on the fear of being lonely
karma! my pain wont last forever but its effects will haunt you
trying to find the strength and guidance to choose
so many men come yet I remain loyal, as deserving as I am
let me hold up a mirror, do you really see yourself as my man?

Teary eyes look onto you for answers,
Lies or truth, heaven in your arms now, not caring about after,
Replaying reality in my mind, hoping something will change,
Waking up from my sleep realizing that things are still the same,
My heart aches for things you cannot fully understand,
But I must be the bigger person and allow you to grow as a man,
Loving you endlessly, I hold you closest to my heart,
Three times a charm, I knew you were special from the third avenue start,
I dry my eyes with tissue made from love and devotion,
Know that my love for you flows deeper than a river of emotion,
So even after all is said and done, after decisions have been made,
I want you to know that my friendship will never fade,
You’re my best friend, my better half, and it’s a shame that everyone sees it,
It just takes certain events in life to allow someone to truly believe it,
Be happy where you are, let one of us live well,
But know life is too short to pass by the rare diamonds you’ve been dealt,
Just let our friendship stay strong, our bond can never be broken,
These are the words of a silent mouth that’s spoken.

Sometimes I wish I had the power
To set u free from her devour
It hurts me every time the thought crosses
But then again my heart won’t allow the truth to process
It can’t be me, denial is not in my system
We have the click, the bond, the groove, the rhythm
I believed u, I believe u, you’re confused, scared to choose
Left on a queen sized mattress in Harlem, I was afraid I would lose
A competition of affection, yet my love caressed your every ache and sore
My love couldn’t be embodied through word, even the public saw it for far more
You were too comfortable
Nestled in my heart, fell asleep in the warmth of my kiss
Occasionally seeing her, texting her while the curves of my body yearned for your lips
In love with two women
Some call you lucky, while others that know us both steer u my way
Knowing in the back of your mind that I am not here just for this present day
I try to be strong, even now, wiping away tears, yet u saw my pain
Embraced yet defaced I walk through your hood head held high yet sometimes I bare the feeling of shame
Cause she walks through this hood and they know, I don’t want the pity they secretly leak
I wonder if ill ever turn that corner and find myself a new street
I’m so afraid and alone, still feel your warmth on my sheets
Checkin my phone and its you when it rings
Not sure if I should pick up, I can’t resist this unknown thing
Counting the days although I don’t want us to be done
I wonder where we’ll stand when the baby comes.

Magnify my deepest lie and uncover what I’ve kept inside
Break through the thickest strides, the toughest barriers, the roughest rides
And hidden beneath the moon, farthest away from the sun
Lies the cobweb infested truth that I once thought was dead and passed overdone
Unlocked and unleashed, destined to repeat
Controlling the moves of both my mind and my feet
I’m weak
Weakened to the touch only one can provide
Invisible tears he fails to see yet they pour from my eyes
Silently I scream, afraid I might hear myself even once
Place the zipper back on my heart, its been accustomed to days, weeks, months…

A stray to this household yet we bare the same last name
Confused on the apparent, I evade truth by pushing it away
Just wanting to be held, cradled even, without a doubt lingering in my mind
A dark figure that is of my loves seems clear yet hazy and hard to find
Giving him, pouring onto him, every bit of my soul
Hoping, wishing, dreaming that maybe a better chapter would unfold
So I could be eager enough to keep reading, hungry enough to keep feeding
Stronger enough to keep giving, barely human enough but keep bleeding
Aches to my heart long for a cure only he can prescribe
My all doesn’t seem to be enough no matter how much I try
So I keep trying.
Trying to show him, trying to give him the benefit of the wrong
Yet all the signs around me tell me that I should be moving on
I can’t. A girl with her heart on his sleeve
Yet I hold a hardened face hoping he doesn’t leave
I know I can do better, those I encounter tell me so
Yet I continue to fall for the same john doe
Let me know or let me go
I’m confused and alone.