Spare Change

I fired at you
You shot back your heart’s presets
Fixed, little use in trying
You weren’t up for trying this out again
But I proceed with cautious steps
I proceed off steep ledges on hillsides that others have only turned back from, repeatedly
That past tense never makes this kid hesitate
He hasn’t been able to fly
But every drop feels a little bit closer.

Your eyes met me
Danced in my shadow
Kept up with the manic
Mimicked it and laughed “No reason to run yet”
I haven’t been still in months but you see it that everything worth pausing for has come too close for comfort
Or any emotion that is adjacent with ground dwelling
You. My inspiration
The glimmer in deep falls and ledges.

But reality comes back to me as your wisdom finds solace on my shoulder
This kind of warmth was reserved for those finally finding their way home
I’m no where near, but you’ve fell upon my footsteps
Made me wonder if they weren’t pointless
With the touch of Ms. Been There and the eyes that proved you made it back
I try to focus on the scar on your cheek as you dance in the snowflakes
I can’t
Your feet make me forget about the frozen walkways I am so afraid of
How beautiful are you?
Why do I get to witness it? Why do I have to leave the time we’ve spent?
I want to crash and burn in it
Use the fire to wash away all the consequences and bath in it
Lay in you, and your memories
Be a distraction and mirror some of what you’ve been for me
In this one night. This one stroll inside Hollywood cameras.
Thrown back to the drawing board because of our separation in the ending
I can’t help but forget about ‘what is’ because of thoughts of ‘what could be’

But you won’t let me
One caress of my neck lets me know it wouldn’t be perfect, but it is in this moment
Actually making me believe you’re doing what’s best for me.

We continued on
My heart argued with your memories
You tried to give me something to remember as I tried to let you forget
Interrupted by a voice
A homeless woman gave us a piece of advice, for a price of our choosing.
The only thing you need to be concerned with, she said
Isn’t the sex, the money, paying your rent
That girl on your arm
She just wants to be kissed.
We laughed at the sentiment
It had nothing to do with the future, the past, anything except, this
But it seemed like the best compromise

So for now can we put all thoughts aside
And let me take her advice?

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