The Role Model

I didn’t know
It then

But
Looking
Back

I’ll never
Forget

An evening during the 90s
When my younger brother and I
Took our dog for a walk

Passing beautiful familiar homes
Of our tranquil neighborhood
New Hampshire suburb

Through snickers I to explained to him
How gay my friends looked

When they kissed their mothers

Thank God

He did not take me too seriously

Sugar Coated

One of my gifts
Is best served cold

If you inhale it
Your brain will freeze

If you let it linger
It will melt

Sticking to everything
It touches

If you use the wooden stick
Provided to you
I hope you receive splinters

If you use a spoon
I pray your tongue freezes to it

I can dish out 3 scoops
Of rocky road

Before you even realized that
You got served

Like a diabetic entrepreneur
Ice cream truck driver

Only a single taste
Of my own medicine

Stops me in my moose tracks
Leaving my rotted teeth trembling

So I have closed up shop

Leading to the death of a salesman and
The birth of a gentleman

Conversations

Two decades of always

Waiting
Waiting for my time to come
Waiting for my point to be made

Even when I finished talking
My conversation would continue internally

“What to say?”
“What to say?”
“What to say?”

“Got IT”

“Hold It”
“Hold It”

“My Turn!”

When that didn’t work

1. I would use another example, metaphor, or analogy to make my point and prove that my logic was sound.

2. In my head I would rationalize that the other person was not listening to me

“Are they listening to me?”

3. They must be too stupid to follow my train of thought.

“Idiot”
During “my” conversations
Being heard was of utmost importance

So significant
That I never truly listened at all

Reacting and Being

Take out a pair of imaginary scissors
Cut out a rectangle in front of your face

No matter what happens
This space is yours

Before your eyes rest upon anything
It must first look through this space

This space provides a
Natural buffer from all events

This space is free from judgment

This space can bring awareness and
Relativity to all actions

This space is infinite

Appreciate the nothingness of this space

It will provide you comfort
You are looking for

No Excuses

A ranting lunatic
Lives within us

Desperate for validation
Of superiority

Alienating others by
Using logic and reason

Justifying anything
In an attempt to prove dominance

The more you fight it
The more it fights back.

Its weapon
(Suggestion)
Hold loosely and acknowledge it

Let the ideas come and go
Recognize
It is just a thought

Nothing more

Now whether you like it or not
You are responsible for all of your actions

Dam My Thoughts

Slow my mind…

L E T I T S P I L L !
The ink from the pen
as the words do fill

The PAGE1
The SAGE2
Interconnection of all
Classified by society (no matter how small)

Words change everything
from friend to lover till death due us part
Napoleon said, “Just follow your heart.”

So relax. Don’t get so deep.
Focus on breathing
and tell my mind to sleep.

1 A page or page boy is a traditionally young male servant.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Page (servant)

2 A wise man; a man of gravity and wisdom; especially, a man venerable for years, and of sound judgment and prudence; a grave philosopher; wise
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/sage

The Night Consumes

Father was certain
Discovery channel and
The success of a boy
Went hand in hand

The theoretical theories
The time on the clock
A devastating combination
Even for the best intentioned
Fourth grader

Head hits the couch
Dreaming of the pillow it longs for

Eventually,
A firm handshake Goodnight
I love you
A school boy
Desperate for rest
Shuffles away

The traction from the footy pajamas
Never seemed to get moving fast enough
Towards the security of the twin bed awaiting

Tongue tastes toothpaste
Sleeping soundly soon

The night consumes…
A few gin and tonics later
GET THE FUCK UP!
The chest
(Of drawers)
Is ripped opened
Its contents bleeding on the floor
CLEAN THIS SHIT UP!
The boy picks up the causalities
From the attack on his sanctuary

He is left wondering
For the next 10 years
What did he do wrong?

Reasons That I know I am getting older

I no longer avoid foods that are fat free
I wear a helmet on my bicycle or rollerblades. (Yes I still rollerblade.)
I enjoy yoga and actually believe that meditation can be helpful
I can honestly say I use a luffa to clean myself
I can’t take shots of hard alcohol anymore, but do enjoy a fruity mixed drink
I have female friends that I actually don’t want to have sex with
(some might be in this room)
I have used lotion and Chap Stick to keep my skin moisturized
If I don’t stretch after exercise I get sore
I don’t always want my penis touched by myself or others
Not only do I have hair in strange places, but I manscape that hair
I realize the importance of tact and because of that
I have stopped making insecure women cry
Diversity is not just a concept but a way of life
I actually admit to the fact that I cannot and will never fit into a large shirt
I can hug my male friends regardless of the homophobia within New England
I condition my hair
I spend time with my good friends, not just acquaintances.
I can entertain myself
I exercise for health benefits
I realize that I am a role model to some
I no longer eat to the point of throwing up
Or crap my pants for fun
I wear sunscreen
Women actually enjoy organisms as much as men do
I actually stopped writing this to listen to the President speak about healthcare reform.