Reasons That I know I am getting older

I no longer avoid foods that are fat free
I wear a helmet on my bicycle or rollerblades. (Yes I still rollerblade.)
I enjoy yoga and actually believe that meditation can be helpful
I can honestly say I use a luffa to clean myself
I can’t take shots of hard alcohol anymore, but do enjoy a fruity mixed drink
I have female friends that I actually don’t want to have sex with
(some might be in this room)
I have used lotion and Chap Stick to keep my skin moisturized
If I don’t stretch after exercise I get sore
I don’t always want my penis touched by myself or others
Not only do I have hair in strange places, but I manscape that hair
I realize the importance of tact and because of that
I have stopped making insecure women cry
Diversity is not just a concept but a way of life
I actually admit to the fact that I cannot and will never fit into a large shirt
I can hug my male friends regardless of the homophobia within New England
I condition my hair
I spend time with my good friends, not just acquaintances.
I can entertain myself
I exercise for health benefits
I realize that I am a role model to some
I no longer eat to the point of throwing up
Or crap my pants for fun
I wear sunscreen
Women actually enjoy organisms as much as men do
I actually stopped writing this to listen to the President speak about healthcare reform.

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