::01:05:08::

::: Mama I Promise :::

I wrote a couple pieces for Gloria Jean
But none realer than this, as I begin
In 81 you were still doing your thing
Not yet wanting to chase ya lil’ man
To this day I will understand
Thank God you birthed a sister for me momz
Who practically raised me
When you weren’t ready for another bad ass son
Up to 7 with grandmoms
As me and nanny walked thru Lancaster County
Hoping off the bus, fun was plenty
Cause I made friends that easy
Off the block and around the corner
Like off the block was mad cars
They told me to say goodbye to nanny
I didn’t understand until she ignored me
Until I looked in her eyes and she didn’t see me
And they lowered her beneath me, now I’m back in Philly
Running from the police and counselors behind me
Therapist wanted to perscript’
But I had rather roll a spliff
Gettin’ high wit’ my homies and I think you knew it
I thank you for letting me learn on my own -- I know it
When you let the world have me at 15

It devoured me and didn’t make me
Cause I didn’t let it, make me a man
I wanted a man to show me those things
But none was there
I took it out on you and every woman
Even Trae and I know the pain absorbing
In your mind drove you crazy
But I was the one trying to escape from hospitals
And run right back to you
I remember all the places we visited
And things I’ve done with you
That others wouldn’t relate to
We’re one, but not before 10
I love you, I thought that I should mention
That’s why I care less what I gain
A product of poverty, when it comes to you being the same
I hope you get the couple dollars I’ll send
If you give it back, I’ll send it back double
Haven’t you realized how much I owe you
They still run to you, but I rather suffer
Before I dig in my mother’s purse any further
For one day I’ll make it -- I promise mama
And if we don’t see it, if I fail you again
Please believe it, I have faith and trust in Him
If not in hell, where we reside
Then on the new earth after we die
No lie or exaggeration
For you I’ll die with no hesitation
See in my eye, I, mama I promise

Written by: ~ John A Black