::12:08:07::

::: Self Denial :::

This piece was performed live on stage last year at The Black Rep Theater in Brekeley, California

Some people ask me...
Hey, Mr. Prime Rhyme Time!
How do actually write your rhyme?
and I answer,
Well...
I usually write around breakfast time
having coffee while I'm thinking of what to write
reading from my journal in hopes to incite a spark of light
to ignite, excite or delight a plight
or maybe...
shine a light, reflect a fright
or maybe write about the appetite I have
for shining light
to unite my left brain along with my right
and sometimes it's not quite right
so I can sit there all day and night till I get it right
but once it's done
I'm feeling sprite
despite my fright
to not get it right! (Whatever I think that might be)
I'll find the word to reflect my thought
I'm self-taught to not get caught
Yeah, I might get distraught
or overwrought
from the onslaught of dot dot dot
thoughts I forgot as an afterthought
yet I dread naught
for I trust the thought I sought
to not get caught
empty handed
without the word I sought.
Once my words are penned just right,
I recite the words... I recite outright
to check the flow to know
if the rhythms tight and the thoughts sound right.
Over and over, I recite the words I write
until rhythm and thought reflects the light...
from there
it's the emotion of the word incurred
from reading the words preferred.
It's a transfer of thought...
to word...
to thought incurred
for I write from the emotion and rhythm of words
transferred
from THIS simple mind
to those I find
possessing thought of likened mind.

Now for our purpose...

As you all know, no one is immune to abuse.
To some degree abuse touches us all.
Some seem more fortunate than others
yet those who have experienced past child abuse...
see the fortunate with different eyes
it seems to me
for they view the fortunate ones
as ones they'll never be.
Well, I'm here again
to tell you that being fortunate
can perpetuate itself over and over again...
for those who can fight past the guilt, the pain and anguish within.
They are those that believe
that there is an honorable existence
past personal abuse and where it's been.
I'm here to tell you, my friends...
the noose is loose,
not to excuse misuse
but to accept it for what it has become,
a rule of thumb...
now to learn from.
We can neglect respect we hide inside
and close our minds to frustrations had
and hold them inside
for here, they're iron clad,
locked within a silent pain
with no where to turn
and no one to blame... but oneself.
When you're here...
with no where to turn...
and there's no concern
to yearn
for help or a simple ear?
Go ask your guides and angels
to help face this fear
of sharing thoughts from pain obtained here
for it's personally fulfilling to understand one's fear...
and just what's to gain here.
Lend an ear to those in need
but remember, my friends, they will not plead
for their simple need is hiding much like seed
awaiting water to cultivate need.
Past the pain,
past the blame,
past the fearful dreams,
past the shame.
So, how did we learn about simple abuse?
Was it a path we were able to choose
or did we have the opportunity to simply refuse?
This question itself can surely confuse
those in need to hear this news.
Abuse is a behavior we learned as a child,
some where violent,
some where mild.
Our parents taught us behavior
which just might be too hard
for some to see...
and then you interrupt me...
and say, Hey Son! I never laid a hand on you?
Yeah,
you were kind (sarcasm)
as I was who you left behind,
as I say to Dad, Leaving a child without it's father is no big deal,
it was done to you by your father...
that's the appeal (redundant sarcasm)
So, when and where does it end
as the memories, the pain,
the dark dreams remain?
Well,
it's no longer concealed,
it is now revealed
for time has come to heal this ordeal.
The answer just might be...
take responsibility
for the legacy you write each day
from the things you do
and the words you say
for a legacy of pain and dismay
may well prey
upon those young minds
left betrayed.

To stand and walk out on a child
is the greatest abuse since Self Denial.

We're all guilty to some degree...
all of us... you... you... you.... and me!
We see it.
We hear about it
and then we doubt about it
and then we close our minds
so we don't have to think about it.
Abuse itself will never leave us
and the only medicine that can cure abuse
and not deceive us?

is love...

to our children
to help Us heal Us!

This child is you...
so, if you walk out now
you will view...
a sub-conscious life of separation
within you too...
for now you live that same pain
you left your child with
to just make do...
oh... if you only knew!
Well, now you do...
and may I introduce you to...
the Karma of Life.
For your children
are just a reflection, a reflection of you!
So, now you ask me...
what can I do as the parent or child?

Well,

find that relation
and heal that creation
for it's never too late to start anew.
To heal a relation is the biggest gift
you can offer yourself
for you will flourish
with a spiritual wealth
of understanding the self-gratifying health
of your own spiritual self
never known before.
This door is left here for you to explore.
It shouldn't be ignored.
Open this door
and feel that warmth of light
to help restore
the love of your family
forevermore.

You and I aren't that much different from that of a child...
we might be a bit more versatile
in self denial,
our lifestyle...
may be a bit more financially fragile
as we tend to pry...
into the search of man's ultimate question...

why?

And like the child...
he'll question the answer with just a why...
as he'll pry again to satisfy...
the simple need,
the need to know why.
Over and over to clarify
why?
why?
why?
It's just conscious reflection placed upon the soul,
for this is the diamond in the coal.
Reflecting on why...
turns itself in...
to where an answer lies within again.
To answer the question one gives oneself,
creates rhyme, reason and a wealth of health
to the inner self.
For just one day,
question yourself of things you say.
What was to you... the good, the bad?
What was to you... the glad, the sad?
And write it all down in that old notepad you had.
You'll be glad,
glad you did...
for it will rid the id of things you hid and did as a kid
deep down amid
thoughts you thought you as an adult could now forbid.
This is the path to know the self
and to know the self
creates the wealth,
not from money
or material things,
but wealth to the mind, the body, the spirit
and what that brings
to those who sing
praise in ways
never displayed by these ways portrayed.
It's a breakaway
from sub-conscious thoughts
left to stray...
and now found today...
by way
of conscious thought
conditioned now
to stay astray...
from thoughts who prey
on our simple ignorance...
of our souls
in
play.

Written by: ~ Lc 24-7-365