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Another year lost causes you to reflect on the past. What could you have done to make this year a little better. What could you have done to make this year and past years a little more successful. The ending of a year is like the ending of a chapter. It is exciting in a perspective to see what the next chapter will bring, but it is unsettling when you think about all the chapters you have already passed and what their conclusions were.

Depression comes with a new year. You think about the time you wasted, the time you are wasting and it demolishes you. You become a little fixated on the past until you realize there is a future. There is still a chapter you have not written. There is still a fresh sheet of unmarked paper in front of you. The title reads 2011, but it is up to you to fill the rest of the pages. The question now is how will you feel in 2011. Will you once again look back in remorse before shrugging it off and moving ahead? Or will there be no need for remorse? Will the only thing on your mind be conquering the chapter ahead reading 2012 as you did 2011’s?

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I do not want to fade away. But I am already gone. I am the wind that whispers as you slumber. I am the moment that you remember that causes you to smile. I am a moment in time that you wish you can relive but you never can. The sun will still rise tomorrow and the moon will still take over that night, but I will not return. I am gone, but I still live within you. My heart may no longer beat, and my lungs may no longer breath, but I still live inside you. I may no longer write. My words may no longer be heard or read, but hopefully what I leave behind is still cherished, still adored. I never wanted much from life. I just wanted the chance to live free, the chance to be read, and the chance to breath. I hope I fulfilled my wishes. Goodbye and God bless.

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My pants once sagged below my waste catered by a belt and firearm. I once thought that life ended at twenty one. I once believed in easy money. I once believed that guerillas only win. But what I have come to realize like many other young people will once their thoughts become ripened. Once they realize what is bullshit, and once they are able to separate it from what really matters. They will realize that everything is bullshit. A piece of mind is something that cannot be brought. It cannot be borrowed, or stolen.

To be able to shed yourself. To come from behind the toys you once used to define you. The clothes you wore and the slang you used. Many people never grow. They never mature and stay trapped in an  unflattering place. We all have seen the old nigger on the corner. The forty year old, dressed like a eighteen year old, with mind of a sixteen year old. The word Nigga is either the introduction or conclusion to all his sentences, and profanities fill in the gaps. He is the man we all laugh at. The man that when we are young we vow to not become and we are older we pity. He is the man that will die and nobody will notice because another will take his place. Ignorance is his captive. The lack of wanting more and the enthusiasm to pursue it is his handicap. He is the fail of evolution.

To evolve is to grow. To evolve is to take the things you experience, the things you witness and apply them to your person. Maturity comes with righteous thinking. You must attack a situation, a problem, or just everyday life with intelligence. Aggression will get you nothing more than sore fist and an aching brow. This is no longer a country of stone throwing cave men or slug shooting cowboys. We have evolved. Only the animals still show their teeth and fight with their fist. We are an age of lawyers and lawsuits. We have armed ourselves with camcorders and camera phones to capture our assailants and subject them to capital punishment. The people still take the law into their hands at times. They still find themselves wrestling in the wild now and again. But when the dust settles and the smoke clears, they take that experience and they evolve from it.

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I’m thankful for my loving family , friends and great memories of those who are no longer here!


I sit alone on a cloud over looking the world. The air is still and the night is quiet. All the eyes in the world hold golden slumbers but mines. I stay awake as the worlds worries. I am the cannon ball of a country as it dives into troubled waters. I am the storm that creeps in discouraging the big black ship of hope. That search and rescue vessel you voted your prayers on to save you. I am the white thunder and lightning who enhances the storm. The captain seems beaten now. He has battled this storm for two long years and with every inch he gains a piece of his vessel was lost. A piece of himself.
Before he embarked on this journey he was already at a lost. His age, his experience were all scrutinized. And I was the one that did it. I was the pictures of a Muslim and the questions with no answers. I was the big racist remark in the room that nobody said but everyone thought of. I was a old white house with no wish on being coated a new shade of black. I was set in my ways. They may not have been ways that necessarily work, but they were my ways none the less.
Now I am still the same stubborn image that refuses to change. I am a legacy of  white wigs and  red blood. I am a legacy of paper and ink, a legacy of  famous quotes and  one liners that rattled a nation. The revolution will not be televised, and neither will change. For the one soul who believed he could venture out and save those under water. Who believed he could bring a new way.
Hello,……..I am America.

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The crowd roared for answers.The people, the people finally stood up for something.They finally stopped being stepped on and spit at. This dictatorial of democracy was nothing more than a reign of corruption.They all knew that their politics, their state, city, and town representatives where all BS. Hungry rabid dogs who ate from the hands of bribery and shit the remains on the people.Tax hikes, pay cut’s, job losses, all plagued which was once such a profitable and happy community.
At one time the people of this land held their heads high. They looked upon one another as a friend working towards the same goal. But those days have long deceased and the back handing from the government, the congress, the city, and state has left the once humble streets a war zone.
Families blunder and kill, not for riches or from insanity. But for food and water. The average man now travels to one of the few jobs available no longer with a briefcase and coffee cup, but a prayer and firearm. I have witnessed the changes in our community first hand. A downwards spiral that suppresses us and continues to do so. A man is only limited by his vision, and ours is dimming. The whole world is becoming the dim dark place that I always perceived it was, it is just that now every one else can see it. I guess at one time a world like this will be of the norm. The babies of now will have babies of then that will be raised in unforgiving times.For the next generation that inherits the bull shit of this one.Please, let me be the first to apologize.

No tags Hide has database security issues in which fraudulent employers are soliciting innocent individuals to cash checks on behalf of individuals outside of the United States. So far Career Builder has not acknowledged this issue.

It seems that the economy is finally making an upward turn and employers are hiring again. On June 10th 2010 I decided that it was time to update my resume and post it on I’m currently employed however it’s always good practice to keep an eye out for new opportunities. On June 11th I received a suspicious email from someone posing as an employer. Here is the email I received below (i’ve excluded my full name):

” Hi (Full Name),

For more than 10 years Condition Express Inc. makes its business by processing with non-standard banking services around the world. We are expanding our firm and grant a range of new services in the United States. Transfer of money for non U.S. citizens with the US check is one of our new
turns. For this reason our firm has some vacancies of “Check Processing Manager”.

Your responsibilities are:
To receive a check by USPS to cash this check
To transfer money to the client the way he/she chooses
To make a special formed records on the carried out
work for every check

Staff requirements:
To have real address in the US
From 1 to 2 hours daily
To have Positive credit history

Your advantages:
The payment of 100 $ – 500 $ daily Payment of at least 3 000 $
Couple of working hours
We take care of all the taxes on the converts you carry
If this vacancy is interesting for you and you want to step please, create an account at our webpage and continue everything in line with the instructions.
With best wishes,
EXIM Exchange Compan

EXIM Exchange Company  Limited is a fully owned subsidiary company of Export Import Bank of Bangladesh Ltd. Canada Bangladeshi Community involved with the development of the Bangladesh economy through the remittance of foreign exchange and trade finance.  In order to remit their foreign currency we provide excellent remittance service to the Canada Bangladeshi Community. “

I’ve spent many years in the financial services industry. The e-mail above is obviously a highly illegal scam to say the least. Minutes after I received the fraudulent email I emailed the Career Builder security team ( I provided the entire email along with the long header data. Here is another example email I received on June 14th:

” Dear (Full Name),

We have found your resume in,CareerBuilder database reviewed it and sure that you to be a great applicant for this position which we offer.
Our Organization are currently looking for a few qualified persons for a vacant position “Account Coordinator”.

The main task of this position is to collect payments bank transfers and checks from our customers in US. If you don’t have checking account our manager will help you to open a new one.

Average salary is $600-$800 per week.

General Requirements:

– Age: 21+
– Ability to work at home
– Computer skills MS Word personal e-mail address
– Responsibility
– US Citizenship


If you want to join our team please register here “

In short, some job seeker that is desperate for a job may fall of this scheme and eventually get arrested. Here is a snippet courtesy of the United States Treasury – OFAC:

” The Office of Foreign Assets Control (“OFAC”) of the US Department of the Treasury administers and enforces economic and trade sanctions based on US foreign policy and national security goals against targeted foreign countries and regimes, terrorists, international narcotics traffickers, those engaged in activities related to the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, and other threats to the national security, foreign policy or economy of the United States. OFAC acts under Presidential national emergency powers, as well as authority granted by specific legislation, to impose controls on transactions and freeze assets under US jurisdiction. “

I have not received a response from Career Builder regarding this issue, but I’ll be sure to keep you posted.


So by now we have all seen/read or heard people talking about Tiger’s apology. At first I wasnt even going to tune in, but I did. But I’m just wondering why in the hell he needed to apologize to US? Us being the public. His infidelity didnt harm us, it harmed his wife and family. The only apology that needs to be said is directed towards his wife. Why do we even care? Well..because the media bombarded us with this story ever since it broke. I ran across an article that said “On the 84th day Tiger finally spoke,” seriously? We were counting the days?!? It’s really not that serious people.

Im assuming his PR reps may have pushed him to deliver a public apology, but I really dont think it was necessary. True, he messed up. Infidelity is NEVER a good thing….but the issues that arise from his “transgressions” should have been kept between him and his wife. What is he apologizing to us for??? I wish him the best and there is no doubt in my mind that Tiger will be just fine. And as we all know Tiger is NOT the first athlete/public figure to cheat. He did what he did…what’s done is done! There is no need for the media to still shine a bright ass light on him and his life. We dont need body language experts to analyze him, we dont need all that. Let the man move on!

One person that needs to move on is Veronica Siwik-Daniels, the porn star aka Joslyn James, that Tiger had an affair with. She CLAIMS she was preggers twice by Tiger..but boo boo how can we prove that now?? Anway, I was watching Tiger on FOX and right after he was done speaking, they switched to Veronica and her attorney, Gloria Allred, who reacted to Tiger’s apology. I couldnt help but laugh my ass off at this woman. Why? Well for one Veronica feels that she deserves a face to face apology from Tiger….not gonna happen. Two, she is broken-hearted because Tiger lied to her about being the only one (aside from his wife), she quit her job as a porn star (she claims Tiger didnt want her to have sex with other men, on film or otherwise), she went into hiding and had no income. She feels as though she doesnt deserve all this…all this meaning…the hurt and pain that Tiger caused. Ummm Im sorry but I dont feel sorry for her. For one….you’re a porn star….Im sure you wont have any problem receiving income quickly…you’re a PORN STAR…you can get more work. She made it seem like she quit a Fortune 500 company….*rolls eyes*….You were/are an adult entertainer! And why the hell does Tiger owe you an apology? These groupies kill me! You voluntarily became a sideline ho, you knew EXACTLY what you were getting into. That man does NOT owe you an apology. You WILLINGLY put yourself in the position that you’re in. Girl stop!

Yeah yeah Tiger spoke out….and Veronica needs to have a seat!

But the real question: Where’s Tiger’s golf clubs? Get back in the game!

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I say to no one in general nor directly, I love myself; then a thought occurred, “Am I boasting?”
So, I asked another, “Hey, Am I boasting when I proclaimed “I love myself?”
He looked at me as to sized me up and ask me, “what you think?”
I answered, “that why I asking you. Am I boasting was my immediate thought after the statement?” He look around the cafe we was in and excuse himself, then joined a table with an attracive female sitting alone with no other words then “excuse me,” while pointing at her.
I was sure at that time for certainty that that question shouldn’t be asked again. I then given a quick thought about the statement and then felt a little happiness physically swelling within me.
I then loudly said in that public place, “I love myself!”
After that it didn’t matter what others nor I would conceived of the statement. The statement was one of those nice feeling emotion, which is a life of one’s own.

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