Breathing and Yoga

yoga

Rushing into action, you fail.
Trying to grasp things, you lose them.
Forcing a project to completion, you ruin what was almost ripe.
Therefore the Master takes action by letting things take their course.
Lao Tzu

This is what we are referring to when talking about a breath-centered yoga practice. Often a yoga instructor’s cadence becomes, “inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale…” until it becomes ambient sound and our ears habituate as we no longer pay attention. And at any given point you will hear the instruction: “coordinate the movement with the breath.”
Yadi yadi. Yada yada.
It’s plenty easy for your mind to convince you and your body to do a lot of things. The converse is true too– you may convince yourself that you have no control and you are possessed by your body by addiction or greed or whatever other deadly sin you might think up. These two things are true (and not just because I’m trying to promote the concept of non-duality either).

Try this: cat/cow vinyasa
inhale, cow
exhale, cat

Fair enough. Now breathe normally. Let the cow happen as the breath comes. As though the transition is in fact a function of the breathing mechanism. It is.

We are being breathed. The atmospheric pressure outside of the lungs and the pressure within the lungs is what causes the diaphragm to move up and down. Respiration is an autonomic function. You do it while you sleep.

And cat comes because you exhale. Bring your mind into your breath. The song is the breath and your movement is the dance. Freedom within choreography. Moving and breathing in a yoga practice is a celebration of being alive and capable–
bringing your mind into your experience
and being there
with yourself
the whole time
to witness,
to act,
and give thanks
just for that.

Now, try this:cat/cow vinyasa
(do this simultaneously)
inhale=cow
exhale = cat
(let the postures and transitions become synonymous with the word “breathe”)

The movement is fluid and the breath is like a river…always flowing…. Sometimes it settles
as in a lake
and the breath suspends
and the mind stops.

If we try to force our bodies to do things without first giving ourselves space to breathe, we will never be able to live in a place of ease and stability. If we fight against the currents around us, we end up defeating ourselves. If we try to hold on to all of our possessions, they will possess us. If we strain, we restrain. If we take shortcuts, we don’t understand where we are.

Practicing restraint in yoga is not about denial, it is about transformation. There is no need to bottle up. To be frozen in our emotion. Become a Master by moving with the energies that nourish you. Support yourself without gripping. Trust yourself. Use self-authority by receiving guidance from all that you are and can be. Pain and pleasure follow the same rules of nature–they each will come and go. Inhale. Exhale. Birth. Death. And the spaces in between. Before and after. Let’s take more time and find more space and live a little now and then.

The Man Behind The Iron Mask

mask

Last night I had a dream of a world where my daughter hated me. She despised me with such a grudge that it could not help but remind me of her mother. A bitter chill relished in her eyes, as her words stabbed like daggers through my heart. I was never a great farther. I was never the man that kept a family shrine around his desk at work, or scheduled family events for every weekend. I was never the type of person to run around with a wallet full of pictures screaming to the world “ Look at my baby!!!!”. Of course I carry pictures of my daughter, I use to carry pictures of her mother too before the divorce. But I was always the type of person to pull them out on request not advertise them to the world. My reason for this may not make any sense to some. But I cherished my family. They were irreplaceable to me, worth more than gold or money. Some what of a vulnerability as I use to put it. I always thought that I would die without them. For my heart only beat for them. The endless hours of work. The placing of my dreams and desires on the back burner. The constant bitching and bickering, tears and regrets. I never regretted anything myself but I can not speak for all parties involved.

After all that, I sit here still shadowed. I willingly release 37 percent of my check. that’s more than double the legal child support percentage at 17 percent. I eat once a day, don’t have a penny to my name after I am done paying the bills I acquired will still married, but some how I turned out to be the bad guy.

My weeks are hectic with work and pursuing something that I know will be achieved, but sometimes I wonder could it had been achieved already if I had not placed it aside. I look at my daughter sometimes. Not in person, but from a picture and wonder if she will understand when she gets older. Will she remember all the times when I tried to come pick her up and her mother slammed the door in my face. The times we did spend together the two of us, just me and her, farther and daughter enjoying the day the good lord gave to us. I am only human, I cannot see the future, or predict life’s out comes. I can not force myself in one direction, when my heart tells me to go another. I gave a lot of myself away to a person, who at the time deserved it. But soon enough abused it, and forgot how special it was.

My dream may have been an awakening, a warning, or maybe just a fear. A thought that someone who I love unconditionally could just through me away. Be infected and influenced by another, who in my absence fed her hatred and lies. My daughter is truly the only person I can rely on in this world. Her smile shows me heaven, in a world I knew as only hell. A insight that at one time we were all innocent. Just little beings, learning and becoming influenced by our surroundings. Not yet knowing dreams or desires. Just basic wants and needs. I wish that I could remember a time with such innocence and when I realize I cannot, it does not matter. I have the chance to relive it with her.

For W

About W

He stays with me
though he wants to be somewhere else but here
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Silently worrying
He is afraid he will lose me
He tries not to show it
He gets so angry
Fighting walls
Things that should not be
He is frustrated
Tired
Yet he stays
By me
He doesn’t give up
He loves me
So I won’t give up
I’ll keep going
Painful slow step
by
Painful slow step
He’s worth it.
I love him too.

2009 copyright catherine anne hayes

The Elliptical Evolutionary Circus Part I

Splash in the waters
of a different idea
Where sunsets split heavens
and bring tomorrows so near

His caravan waits
full circle, full mile
Slumped over green hills
brush warmth in a smile

“Let’s leave and raise anchor,”
just a figure of speech
“As we leap straightforward
there’s a lesson to teach”

The Ringmaster is ready
to bring forth what’s new
He knows the excitement
and so does his crew

They’ve made the arrangements
and taken to account
Each and every last person
with a goal to surmount

The small ones are anxious
to get a head start
Yet must follow tradition
an ancient lost art

When all are aboard
the tent spreads her wings
Bright colors of tapestry
woven from more dubious things

Into the hurricane
spin wheels of pure fire
Feeding on oxygen
cheers rise form the choir

The ascent is miraculous
so Tristan takes hold
Of the small ones and dear ones
their inhibitions unfold

So sudden comes pulling
on the wagon’s old core
Sharp cracking and splintering
invites doubt to their door

The Ringmaster is ready
shifting into next gear
Won’t be easy this time
to corner their fear

The anticipation stretched thick
as tall Georgia pine
He shouts, “Pass me that glass
of my old Spanish wine!”

“Just a small sip
fo my wits are about
Keeping goals in my sights
Keeping faithful devout”

The destination is simple
and if you don’t already know
it’s where Sea Pennies swim
and emit a strange glow

The first stop of a tour
is a showcase of wonder
Zeus pulls up a chair
and lays down his thunder

Animals of all breed
unknown creatures with big eyes
Survey the world’s stage
exchange Hello’s and Goodbye’s

Should I dare introduce
the circus key players
Who stand shoulder to shoulder
like smooth even layers?

“I am your Ringmaster
and this is my dream!”
This person journey
like an engine of steam

“Through the most narrow dark tunnel
in the end there’s a light
The tracks are sure sturdy
and the bolts fasten tight”

The Elliptical part goes around
in a constant clear spin
Makes the canyons so grand
fit the head of a pin

“It brings us together
every year, every day
Sharing laughter and joy
I’m pleased to convey”

Evolution is growth
that we strive to achieve
With each production we start
gives us chance to believe

“I’m not alone in my thinking
with me are my friends
We’ll stretch your imagination
Let’s see where it ends”

Wish and wipe the slate clean
where limitations abound
Show what hasn’t been seen
Find what hasn’t been found

I’m ready if you are
to get on with the show
The circus means Life
to those in the know

No need to give names
to the circus large cast
They are a function of sailing
the unwavering mast

They navigate the seas
dance over a wave’s curtain call
For when the sea looms large
The circus grows tall

But the sea was unhappy
with such an ambitious new guest
Poseidon crashed down
on the circus’ best

Tristan called for his map
knowing where to set course
“Put away all the telescopes
I’ll tame the seahorse!”

Off far in the distance
it made itself clear
Mountains of glory
Sorts through mist to appear

A month and a day
Spare an inch like a mile
Caravan arms outreach
for the shore’s sandy pile

Don’t know what morning
the sea broke its hold
Ringmaster’s never lose hope
in changing seasons I’m told;
This is just the first note
of an uncertain life tale
Imagine Evolution Elliptical
as a brilliant Blue whale,
which began as a thought
on an unbalanced scale

More to come…

Hair Under Wind

I’ve got
Hot

I’ve got
Hot Short

I’ve got
Hot Short Red

I’ve got
Hot Short Red Hair

Look if you dare!

I’ve got–

Hair Short Red Hot
Red Hot Hair Short
Short Hot Hair Red
Hot Hair Red Short

crashing down
on my pillow
as I LAUGH
and fall back
on my bed

I’ve got–

Did you hear what I said?

What do you got?
I got red on my head
I got red on my bed

I once knew a long-haired bitch
but she’s dead–

I killed her with a snip-snip-snip
and a dye-dye-dye
then she rose again Red
with Angel’s wings!
watch her fly-fly-fly…

JayNitty

unbreakable bond
four years strong
plastic females trap with their plastic love
convinced they got you with what never really was
with me its different
she had 5 years of lies that left u distant
unbreakable bond unafraid, strong, black

(jaynitty and nyte, new york)