Category: Penman Lounge

I wanted to be left feeling invisible because to remember would be unfeeling; compassionately socializing with the enemy shouldn’t deliberately weigh on my feelings.
Why would my sanity truly depend on your survival; that can’t be.
Why can’t the feelings of being down have its window shut; spilling to the ground.
The explanation of when I rage; has been shut up so long that I’ve forgotten the rules and pleasures to openness; if there’s really still a place for me.
The only thing that’s changed is that the applause is quieter.
The bright lights of ‘insane’; frightening nights is what my soul knows to be forgotten amongst the sane. I try not to weep or willow but out-casted is, as out-casted does.
Don’t cry for me because I hide part the way; let’s get it straight.
My forgetting my whole self because I have been born again and again and again and…; I ain’t mad, I go on.
How do you unscramble a rattled mind that’s struggling to be born again with the hope I have left; I’ve lived in the flesh, now die in the Word. God has plans for me, as soon as I figure at what they are.

kw

If I could just get a glimpse to retain my self’s induced preservation; if only the brightness shone through, up and around my darkness, just to refresh in my conscience that hope shall be there; I’d rest helping, screaming.
I can’t open up wide enough to hopefully express how my inward feels.
It stopped being called lonely eons ago.
What truly helps I’m hoping is perseverance and patience and renowned faith.
I can’t I can’t I can no more.
Pain is reserved for the tough at heart.
Seeing that I died eons ago, this death on me has no fear.
Sadness dried and died before I knew what hit me.
Guide me back to living before this death is permanent.
Fight.
Fight.
Fight.
kw

I question I wonder

Silly
we are
that we don’t see
the real beauty
and gifts
that are around us.
Always looking
for other things
that really
don’t matter
but
we think
they do
And
why must people
yell
and rush through
everything
and spoil
precious moments
that can not
be recaptured

What is wrong with us?

Have we forgotten
how to live?
to feel joy?
to be human?

I truly wonder…

Is there hope
for us?
Is there still
a spark inside
of us
that will ignite
and flare
bring us to
our better selves
feel the love
the passion
the beauty
our true souls
that lives inside
of us?

I wish
I hope
I pray

I can not give up on us

I will not give up on us

Call me
the hopeless
and foolish
romantic
who even though
life has battered
me around
still chases rainbows
and sunsets
and still
believes in
castles
in the clouds
and
happily ever after…
such
is my nature
I can not help it
I will always
look for the best
inside of a person
and feel the best
of them first
I will stop
and smell
the sweet scent
of the roses
and
I will always
believe in
the power
the magic
the glory
of love

copyright catherine anne hayes 1/26/2012

Why are so many people needing to be UNEXCEPTABLE. Why do they reach out to me in such a forceful manner. Do I appear to relinquish my RIGHTS as an achiever in any given effort. Read me my MEMORIES and the answer will reach out and touch someone; any one. The remedies that reside within my mind are consequences that may render one USELESS in their efforts. Recycle mandatory affections and reside amongst the COMPETITION that may master anger’s rejects.
What we fail to sometimes realize is that we make MISTAKES but we are not to be held accountable for the such. RECAPTURE every demeanor that may fight to survive and within that circle, may become beknownst to you.
When a TIGER cries and that they do, we can’t hear it as well as when a TREE falls and yes, it does make a SOUND. Feel me when you can’t and even when you won’t because everything I ATTEMPT to become only remembers that which may bring about my DEEPEST fear. ROARING is a call of the wild. Screaming comes from inside the closet and the mercy never rest. FAILURE can never be accounted for if the attempts are MEASURED. Record the evidence and scream it from within. Never allow FORCES to be with you; there is a heaven and the only way to know that, is to FORGIVE. Forgive when you can’t or simply when you don’t want to. Escape and FREE your…..
Know their mind and the PLEASURE revolves around what I resolute; and the REWARD will be all mine, no yours too. Support that which is MANDATORY. I don’t think so far that which we accept is only as far as the eye can see and to only see can bring about UNBLIEF. Boldness is a fortified ELEMENT that will extinguish an enormous, burning DESIRE; there is another understanding which must be LEANED on.

Gently she watched as was laid another child’s soul, this scene replayed over in her nation’s mind. Her heavenly duty was to love all the kids that came from above to cuddle them in her arms to keep them safe from harms. On earth, her mothering, her job, which she tried to do with TLC;(Terribly Lacking Concern), found her losing her kids in such a horrible, yet expectant way, a way her surroundings forgot to relay. Not able to go on without them she prayed good God would bring her wilted life to an end because there was no one else for her not to defend. God called her to judgment where He thought to place on her angelic wings, instead He placed on her the tears of her beloved babies so she could feel the lonely little lullabies and their simply sweet innocence that was to cling and forever hear their dying sting. What glorious job she didn’t do. What maternal disease with which she was infected. You must have listened to their cruel cries for you before hatred was injected. OOWEE!

The extremities pass & we coax the truth
into repeating the lesson left on a vacant shore.

Outside has become the new inside,
as the handhelds take the mind away.

What has me here so still,
the one word to hold so long?

Not on a road of sentences
will it will me a greater silence.

The nest is laid to final rest.
All the above was left at the rest stop.

It is a script of absences.
There is a picture in the word you hold dear.

Keep it safe.

the transgressions though minor
are multiplying and are stacked
in the closet out of sight

they form an obelisk of pure desire
to be chipped away slowly
until they form something

beautiful and permanently rewarding
to the eye
and the faint of heart

the caterpillar crossed
the great road

it took days
seeming only

a blip on a journey
without purpose

the caterpillar & the cars
were oblivious of each other

only the warmth
mattered

the ease
of movement

fulfilled
what passed

in this world
as intent

The evanescent clouds glide by
as dusk opens the vast starry heavens
to exposure, a rubric to a forever manuscript
dancing to an unheard melody.

The ticking of time is but an artifice
man created. No one alive will see it
cease as transmogrifying transition
envelopes the seer. The birds fall slowly

hypnotized by the tiny prey the breeze
in tall grass reveals. Pray that the harmony
once here returns with or without us.
Look at all there is to do, and begin.