Category: Penman Lounge

am I brushing my teeth
or thinking about brushing my teeth?
I don’t remember brushing my teeth
I was elsewhere thinking
& going thru the physical rote
of not being where you are

though you are not here
I recall the strenuous togetherness
& the thick white foam running down

She’s putting the pain in painter again,
and it’s not just ice, but fire, too –
& there are sperm sprouts in the mulch swamps,
& there are hotbeds of uncertainty awash in mercenary wine;
So watch a woman’s joy and strength in Music,
and watch her transform,
As your nights do you,
and what do I ride for?
I saw the Headless Horseman
glide across coyote lawns;
I saw false jewels sparkling in the hills,
I’ve drunk from the fountains of fear
Under gray ceilings incontravertable, and I’ve
sucked hot sounds from the seminal earth,
while playing python games in the mind,
playing with love and hate together,
trying to read the list of loves gone,
with eyes that drowned long ago.

Wasps, tambourines, & jugglers filled the fair.
Tugging at your sleeves the crowd
ebbed & flowed around the water’s edge

in all its twilight rippling calm.
If speech were in disarray & piecemeal
in its distribution, it played amongst the birds,

music & drifting thoughts devoid of all purpose
but to be in communion with summer’s end,
& the last morsel of ephemeral, plasticene joy.

The community property of this moment
will go out in the dark. Though I know
none of you, we go on separately, together.

The sounds echo as we go away hearing
seagulls, accepting handouts for the coming political
rallies that talk on & on

about the reality of this country going
in a hand basket to where we do not know.

Everyone cries sometimes
When your world has gone cold and hopes are low
Everyone cries sometimes
When your life is on hold and troubles overflow

You can cry when you’re happy
You can cry when you’re sad
It’s a natural emotion we all have had

Everyone cries sometimes
When yours friends fade away and love is strange
Everyone cries sometimes
When your mind wants to stray to avoid change

You can cry when you’re happy
You can cry when you’re sad
It’s a natural feeling we’re allowed to have

4:11 beyond the dawn a silent VOICE IS
Once a boy now a man forevermore IS

You can cry when you’re happy
You can cry when you’re sad
It’s a natural emotion we all must have

11-24-11 – RICH LOVE, INC.

Frost glazed everything in sight
in the garden
crunched like glass under
her feet as she walked the paths
in the late November afternoon
she walked aimlessly
sadly
lonely
her heart and soul feeling
empty
void of love
as she loooked all around
at the pearl gray misted sky
the brown trees bereft of leaves
the tired bushes
the dried out flowers sleeping
till next spring
she thought…
“Is this all there is? Is there nothing left?
Is there no hope left for me?”
A sad sigh
A single tear slips down her soft chilled cheek
Suddenly
out of the corner of her eye
she sees a tiny spash of colour
without thinking
she is drawn to it
and then she is next to it
a single rose
a single last surviving
lost rose
clinging on to life
fighting
blazing in all it’s glory
she took in it’s lush fragrance
It filled her with warmth
It started hope within her again
She thought
If this single lost rose
can find a reason to survive
in this cold bleakness
so can I
She rubbed the rose against her cheek
then softly kissed it
A single ray of golden sunlight breaks
through…
Hope does spring anew.

© copyright catherine anne hayes 11/26/2011

There’s a way to do this. Time may be running out, but somehow there’s a peace, to passionate ambivalence.
May I say that there is a method to it all? The seeing, the challenges wrapped in what seems like forbidden tension, are all creating something, a person maybe. But not I.
Enjoying is so deliriously avoided. The separation created is so maddening, with no benefit except space in between, that must be maintained. Constant working. Let them all come into you. Let it all reside as it may. Opportunity. Delirious and furious kind of, non speech, that runs through senses, on the ground and beyond it.
Placing, among words, sights and sounds that may never know bound if the category could cease.
Did you guess that one day we would really meet? Beyond hope and prayer. In love and weird glances that couldn’t be used for use? That when you came, I would never think to do anything but want you to.
Thought is so serial. But us, we could parallel, meeting everywhere because one, line, erupts into our never leaving hand, touch, watch. We meet here, as never before, but too damn familiar for deja.
Love is a delirious.

Leave me to my own advances,
The disenchantment of failed romances.
I felt her thoughts, I felt the passion.
But friends and lovers are out of fashion.
Feelings are a thing for masking.
You hold those questions you feel like asking.
You wish there was an easier way,
To say the things you want to say.
And this crush can hold some complications,
But you know its your obligation.
To say a prayer, remove your mask,
And ask the things you wish to ask.

Fathers drinking in the Kitchen,
And mothers crying in the living room.
I am constantly praying,
Hoping death comes and takes them soon.

Life holds nothing new for them,
They fight the same bout everyday.
Mother acts oblivious.
And father drinks the pain away.

I find myself feeling betrayed.
Is this the way a child’s raised?
I hope they can finally find happiness,
When their both dead and decayed.

And one day I will escape from this.
This gloom, regret, and hopelessness.
And one day my life will be seen as,
A much better one than my parents had.

I had to turn back

The patterns of frequencies

By flying off the handle

So I could be considered normal

Just as a puppy learns

To make extravagant claims

I try to meditate

Through the patterns “that” frustrate

Like a constant storm

I navigate conditioned impulses

Slowing these rockets falling

With soothing music so compelling

Our revealed garden

Sparks chirping bird’s hearts

Flowers dance in this landscape

And romance has found a new escape

11-12-11

This was written at HCMC on 11-1-11 when I went back to give LOVE to hospital.  Don’t worry – I knew what He was doing through me this time.  

Hey Anna Love,

I LOVE YOU!!!

Thinking of you
turns
my blood to fire
and
I am all lit up
Restless
Wanting
in my bed
when
I should be in yours
Yes
Right now
Lips touching
Tongues dancing
Bodies meshing
Heat blending with heat

Come to me
Now
Bring me to your bed
End this waiting
this torment
Fill me up with you
Now
Please
Come to me

copyright 20 October 2011 Catherine Anne Hayes