A POSTCARD TO SYLVIA PLATH

I see you
clutching poems to your chest
still and quiet as a monk praying
Alone now-
cold dawn creeping into your flat
footsteps disappearing down dead end streets
the dust accumulating,old scabs and sores,
words of worry building
cubist music of the mind.

Children sleeping, you weeping
the sink leaking, wintering of days-
wearing down hard stone of resolution.
‘I am ugly’ she said
‘Scarred from madness and vanity’s decay.’
had she loved madly and not well?
had not dotted her i’s or crossed her t’s
diverted her path from sane rational discourse
Alone
dogs of death snapping at her heels.

A large woman’ described by one ‘dyed her hair blonde
must be insane’
married Ted Hughes, her Heathcliffe
‘ a banger ‘she said, ‘the mind of a genius’
and her with her shards of poetic mind
Alone
sorting out her poems,looking for a sign.

‘ I am going to die’ she cries out
hammering on her neighbours door,
‘ And who will wash and see that my children are fed’
The old man downstairs moves quietly away
feeling the first shudder of grief.
She hesitates, feeling betrayed, trapped in her own play-
retreats to her kitchen, despairs of her suffering,
turns the lock quietly, opens the oven door-

And the whole world walks in forever more.

Do I…?

Will the proverbial shoe drop
like it always does?
Do I dare to be happy?
I am so filled up with joy
Things seem to FINALLY
be going my way
Do I DARE to believe?
Do I Dare to let out my breath?
Do I STOP looking over my shoulder?

I am so happy
so giddy
I thank my lucky stars
I THANK GOD
for the Blessings
in my life now
but
is it all
a beautiful
but fleeting dream?
Am I going to wake up
and find
it was not real
and
I am really in the usual pain
and struggle?

I pray God
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Let it NOT be a dream
Let this JOY
this HAPPINESS
this BLISS
be my REALITY now
and the pain, struggle and sadness
behind me
I will not forget it
I will ALWAYS be grateful
and
THANKFUL
to YOU
my Precious Lord
for YOU have made this
wonderful reality
possible…

copyright 20 October 2012 catherine anne hayes

CITY BLUES

I miss my city.
The huge man made marvels that make up the landscape.
The insomnia that can never be cured.
The cracks, the crevices, the slums and the heights.
The underground stream where people unite.
For one goal, to individually get where they must go.
I miss the option of stairs or elevator. And the fact that the higher you get, your view becomes greater.
I miss the silence on one block, and the chaos on another. I miss my mother, sister, and brother. And how we use to interact with each other.
I miss the kiss of the winter, the chill of the fall, the caress of the spring, the flame of the summer.
I miss the concrete under my feet, and the brick along my eyes.
I miss observing how some people fall and some people rise, and wondering how they achieved those lives.
I miss watching those who dreamed of this place find its reality. And watch it swallow the weak and take away their mortality.
I miss waking up early, when the ground is still sound. And feeling as if I was the ruler of this town.
I miss my city.

Kissing You

In the brightness of day
and in the deepness of night
I have luscious thoughts
of our bodies entwined
touches that are exquisite…divine
You who thrill me
I will enthrall you
Be the fire in your blood
and rays of sun that cascades over your flesh
I am the sweet pungent honey on your tongue
I will kiss you
till your head spins
and you are out of breath
which causes you
to crumple to your knees
Then
I will kiss you more…

copyright 8 2012 catherine anne hayes

Sometimes

I just want to turn away run off to find
A new and more simple day…
Where people like me for what I say…
And maybe even give me some pay…
Now I give material goods away…
Just because they get in my way
And slow me down along my joyful stay…
People I know only say…
What will you do for Me today…
Seldom wanting to share my day,
Take off and play to enjoy the simple
Pleasures of the New Day…
My back aches and my heart breaks…
Children I know get in their own way…
Fighting each other day after day,
That’s the part that breaks this old heart…
Life is short and some mean words they say,
Missing the beauty of the New Day…
This why I fade away, home to Heaven
One Bright Warm New Day…
I hope they find Love before this Day…

Pete J Frady

Heat of an Afternoon……..

In my shadowy bedroom
The heat of the day
trying to
be kept at bay
by the drawn bamboo curtains
The whirr of the fans
the only sound
A single drop of moisture
runs down between my breasts
I wonder
what it would be like
to have you
catch that drop
with your tongue
What it would
feel like
to have your lips
in that valley
between my breasts
blowing
on the damp skin
I feel a tell tale pressure
starting
to build deep
within
down to my core
How would you
ease my ache?
Reduce this pressure?

I wait
to be explored…

copyright 17 July 2012 catherine anne hayes

Waiting No More

I tremble
at the thought of
your hands on my body
the taste of your mouth
the scent of your skin
the knowledge
the truth
that soon
you will be with me
surrounding me
in me
after all
this time of waiting
and
after many joyous hours
of our mutual loving
I would sleep peacefully
by your side
blissfully wrapped in your arms

But now
at THIS moment
you are far away
I am chilled
I yearn
I need
you here to ignite me
to warm me
I want you
on me
over me
devouring me
in me
filling me
with your molten heat
Your hands playing my body
making me sing

Time
do not tease me
any longer
Bring you
my lover
to me

copyright 16 July 2012 catherine anne hayes

Through Your Lens – In memory of Craig Elliott Jr. 1960-2011

In the still early morning
of yet another night
bereft of sleep
I see myself
as you looked
at me
through your lens
That individual moment
you captured

I was
unaware
My minds memory
recalled
the smooth grained sand
cooled
by the gently
bubbling
minuscule waves
that my aching toes
and heels
delighted in

The salty yet sweet
early evening breeze
danced
with the tendrils
of my hair
and
tickled my nose

Seagulls flying…
calling out to each other…
a young girl and boy
in the first throes of love
kissing and laughing…
and again the waves
so small that particular
pink and gold hued evening
their sound was
a gossamer soft hush

Then in the shimmering distance
a lone sailboat
on the horizon
barely noticeable
Was I
aware of it
in my private
reflections?

Did you notice
all these things?
Is that what caused
you to lift
your beloved camera
to your eye?
Forever capture
that moment in time?

Was this how I was
to remember you?
How
you saw me?
Was this
how
you loved me?

copyright July 2012 catherine anne hayes

I Miss…

What do I miss about you?
Let me list the ways:
I
Miss the sound of your voice in my ear
Miss you whispering my name so soft and sweet
As only you know how.
I
Miss feeling your tender embrace
And the knowledge that I am safe
Wrapped in your love.
I
Miss being by your side
Miss being inseparable dispite a world that is
Always trying to tear us apart.
I
Miss knowing who I am when I’m with you;
Miss writing our story in verse
Kind of like I am now.
I
Miss looking into your warm eyes and
Seeing the love I feel reflected there
As if that love consumes your soul
Our soul, because
I
Miss being with you in a way that
God ment for Adam to be with his
Soul Mate, two halves of the same being
Joined together under a watchful moon.
I
Miss the sweet music of your laughter
And watching as the sun
Rises in your smile.
I
Miss being able to taste your
Name in my mouth like I
Always seem to when
I am with you.
I
Miss being able to point you out
In a crowd and claim you
As my own, daring others to
Try something while I’m around.
I
Miss that feeling of being
Lighter than air when
I’m in your care and
I
Miss feeling the fiery passion that
Connects us in a way that I
Know others can see through
Our joined hands.
I
Miss being neither you nor me but we,
Joined not by hand or hip
But by heart.
I
Miss your witty remarks about
How life isn’t fair but hey,
At least we have eachother.
I
Miss late night conversations
Miss pouring out my heart
Miss hearing you do the same.
I
Miss telling you my thoughts and dreams
Miss confiding all of my hopes and fears in you.
I
Miss having you chase away my boogiemen
And how you always make me whole again
Turning nightmares into dreams.
I
Miss how you always know just what to say;
How know when actions, not words,
Are what I need most.
I
Miss waking up next to you
Miss falling asleep with you
I
Miss holding your hand
Miss holding my heart out to you
I
Miss doing nothing and everything with you
Miss being in your presence
Miss having you in mine
I
Miss tasting your sweet kisses
Miss covering you in mine
I
Guess what I’m trying to say is that
I
Miss you.

I Spend Time With You

I am not my whole self unless
I spend time with You
Life’s purpose is empty
the calm of my soul
does not exist

I need my time with You
Life is complicated
a challenge
full of tests of patience

But when I spend time
with You
my soul becomes calm
my mind ceases to be troubled
I know I am loved

The best part of my week
is my hour with You my Lord
I feel complete
I bask in Your Love
I know what it is to be truly cherished

You my Lord I most adore
My Savior
My One
My All
Because of You
I can meet life’s adversities
I become strong
I am renewed
All because I spend time with You

copyright 10 july 2012 catherine anne hayes