Hold The Light

We don’t have to see tomorrow
as we depart from yesterday
End the myth of wonder
Add the touch of sorrow
Fire away…meet the day

Time withstands to borrow
Softened memories
As you meet the ‘morrow
Embraces fade away
To avoid the sorrow
Of a broken today

When roads depart at the fork
The trails they leave behind
Bedeck the corners of the heart
Like flowers
Are devine
Let’s not forget each other in
The passing fading night
The moonwind holds the mystery
The ‘morrow holds the light…

The First Day of Fall

Jorjian Brown was born on the cusp of uproar and downfall. Only one year shy of nineteen thirty, to be exact. She was a slimy beast that had crawled out of the underbelly’s belly—as her father had put it. There was not much to Jorjian. Her hair was cropped short by the age of ten. She had a square jaw and a snaggletooth grin. Her comical side was limited. To her, funny was a rainbow screwed on backwards. To her, Buckley County was as flashy as the Rivera. And brut beer was as potent as a falsetto throat tightening to a muscly cord within the clasped hands of a purple coin ringer. Things looked pigeon-eyed to Jorjian. And life was a hijinx to Jorjian. And Moe at the corner pawnshop was never very far from her shoulder, careful to keep a watchful eye on the bird of his master’s protection. Moe and Mickey, they slithered through the grime of Boylston and Pine, knocking hoes and bunnies and boppin them on the head. Two hoes, three hoes, a pair of toes. Sold for a gold chain and a can of gummies. No one stopped to listen when Jorjian Brown tussled her head from side to side. She smiled and sat. Smiled and sat. Kissed and spat. Never looked back.

And from whence she withdrew a cornering stare, a young man approached, willing to try her. A Capitol Hill smacker with gums long and saggy. Jorjian would have none of it. But he commenced to concede Jorjian’s mind for her, a sly grimace paying no matter. What he willed to have, he certainly got. Her cropped bangs stuck to the cheek of her forehead. What a pallor she contained after such an affront. But Jorjian stared past her prowler. She put up an image of days in the valley. Alone with her mother, her maker, but sadly, things came crashing back as the wolf had just spat in the face of his prey. Jorjian wrestled with what to do, it was custom of her to ripen another with dew. She was trapped and saddened by her life’s noxious state. She lifted her skirt further and offered what of her was left. Jorjian Brown then caved forever into the hole in her breast.

It seemed there was no hope for a girl left to her own. Not in a city both gray and fertile. Not in a city full of fuel and rock. Ms. Brown had been left, alone on the beach. A forgetful image of a year downed by the dismal stocks of the east. The bells of New York ringing up and down as the markets sank and set forth. No one thought of Jorjian as her body grew soft. The ice salt of Alki washed her skin clean. And no one, not Moe, not Mickey, no one from home called out the name to which she knew best. It seemed she had never set foot in the barber chair that day. Never ate a lollypop from that corner store. Never drank a sticky drink from that barstool. She had never lived atop the hill that now rested in silence of fog and fall. It seemed Jorjian Brown, was never at all.

Rain Soaked 3:00AM

3:00AM and the rain beats
against my windows
and all I can think of
is you
I think of the nape
of your neck
and
how it would feel
against my lips
as I snugged down closer
against you
my breasts pressed into
your back
my arms
around your waist
intimately
close
my hands finding
and holding
you
there…
Yes…
stroking..
growing…
turning…
opening…
entering…
taking…
yes…
this is what I want
this rain soaked night…
You..
I want you…

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2008

T.O.D

A black cloud has taken hold. We call it the Tunnel Of Doom. Anikke feels it over Jill. Meghan feels it over Mary. Kareem feels it over Kahlid. And I feel it over no one. Not for cancer, not for cat sh*t on the carpet, not for a spray-painted hate crime on the other side of town. T.O.D. for me is swelling like the Bering Sea. Over the lost fishermen. Their icy bodies pulled blue from the wreckage, salt lapping at rubbery skin. My dad went there as a young man. Alone, manic, then deep in T.O.D. I take after him. His white foaming darkness. My ma’s resolute calm; a little of both. He’s at the shelter today. Sifting through more wreckage of homeless fantasy. Brilliant plaids and sweat-stained whites. Maurice and Lewis dive deep in T.O.D. as Travis and Kirk try to pull out. Chester grimaces as a boy looses his gun in the leaves of Vietnam. He grits his smile and brandishes gardening sheers. I call the cops twice that night. They laugh in my face, tell me not to call talking about a gun. But I saw a man with a black beanie and heard glass breaking in the covered alley. I know what I heard. Car hoods thumped upon, a cigarette shoved against the wind. When I wake up I see no broken glass, just a window that’s been cracked for weeks. I must be loosing my grip. I must be in T.O.D. this Friday morning. Friday is my Monday anyway.

The Roof

Things misspoken to Travis. If there isn’t a reason, I’d be abandoned by my own shivers. I’m pacing the roof. Again, I almost jump. But why not pull myself back from the edifice of eternal splatter.

Red Wine

Robust and dark
Your happy as a lark
Fruity and dry
Now your gonna cry???
Oh grapes of wrath
Get outta my path
Aromas pungent and so very bold
What fables and dark secretes have you told?
Such a smooth satiny oaky finish
As your number of friends seems to diminish
Organic with not one single tannin
Now your louder than a pirates cannon
Nuances of honey
Even screw cap is worth the money
Merlot
Oh no!
A fine Cabernet
Keeps reality at bay
Zinfandel
Hangover from hell
Pinot noir
Your the star of the bar
Spain, Chile and the California coast
Bottles of what you regret the most
Nether regions of central Spain
The burgundy thunder causing steady weight gain
And least we forget Italy’s vines
Uncorking heavy drama and countless driving fines
As soon as you are not able
To read that fine vintage’s label
Pay that tab – all the moneys due
Get some change, because you’ll surely have to pay the piper too!

Modern Condition

I’m a klepto, stealing breaths from an alter ego that could be using them much better than I ever have
Hyper ventilating to get in as many as I can.

My pyro maniac magee style burns bridges and he loses himself in the flames
What a beautiful light from paths I’ll never walk again
Warmth of a home made by finding the right match.

Manic tactics have a well dressed maverick finding tranquility in street corners
Something draws him back to concrete blocks that housed him when nobody else would
Now that he has options, he stills feels like he belongs where they never turned him away
Old reliable.

The voices telling him he shouldn’t because he couldn’t in the first place
Much easier to live safe than sorry, aka shot or MUTILATED
Whether it be a random utterance or his own when he was 13,
It guides him to look down and walk straight
They never answer how I’ll ever if he never tries, but I don’t ask questions
If he ever allowed real eye contact, he’d realize that many are schizo that way.

Sitting on the 4 train, drugged sufficiently
No… it’s ok
It was clinically recommended
Got really angry one day before getting nervous, watching Saved by the Bell
Then remembered to laugh when he opened the blinds
Best feeling I can remember
But they figured they’d even him out
Now all he truly feels is that… Zoloft is a hell of a drug
Watches the doors open… and close
Umbrella of the girl next to me pokes my side every time she shifts
It’s no biggie
I can’t remember the last time I minded much
The good life.

He laughs at the lady doing laps from pole to pole on the train
She couldn’t keep her pants up, saying something to Anthony
Who nobody else could see
He chuckled again
“Ha Ha…
Crazy b*tch”

Wine Infused Kisses

Wine infused kisses…
Heady..
Intoxicating…
I would sip your wine
and then
lean over
and kiss you
Open your mouth
with mine
and let the wine stream in
as I deeply
very deeply
kiss you…
Tongues dancing…
Breaths mingling…
Are you tingling now?
Tell me…

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2008

Pulled

I heard your voice.
I looked up.
Eyes locked
and in that instant
I loved you.
Deeply.
Fully.
Irrevocably.

Pulled I was
by a force greater
than my own
into you arms.
Eyes locked.
Lips touching…
Opening.
Breaths mingling.
Souls knowing each other
for the first time.

Some would say it’s sinful.
Others condemn.
In their close-mindedness
what do THEY know of love…
of bodies meant to become one.
I pity them.

Let them condemn.
Let them judge.
It matters not.
I have your love
and my love is yours…
my body yours….
given completely.

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2005

My Desire For You Right Now

Let us create our own erotic tropical paradise with
voodoo magic in the air. Rest assured my sweet, that
you will have the release and gratification that your
soul and body crave. See me in your minds’
eye at this moment that I am naked in my
bed…my very fair skin glowing ivory white against the deep ruby of my bed sheets…my hair spread against the
pillows…my nipples, their pink colour deepening with
my erotic thoughts and my eyes smoldering with that
blue green colour that is found only in the
Gulf…my lips beckoning you…my
laptop is balanced on my tummy as I type this…I wish it was your warmth that I feel emanating from it… mmmmm… my legs just move apart and my back slightly arches with the thought of your body laying…pressing against mine…can you feel the points of my nipples pressed against your chest now? Come to me…take me to your bed…lose yourself in me…lap up my honey and kiss my “pearl” till you are drenched with my nectar… do not make us wait any longer.

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2005