Category: Penman Lounge

About W

He stays with me
though he wants to be somewhere else but here
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Silently worrying
He is afraid he will lose me
He tries not to show it
He gets so angry
Fighting walls
Things that should not be
He is frustrated
Tired
Yet he stays
By me
He doesn’t give up
He loves me
So I won’t give up
I’ll keep going
Painful slow step
by
Painful slow step
He’s worth it.
I love him too.

2009 copyright catherine anne hayes

Splash in the waters
of a different idea
Where sunsets split heavens
and bring tomorrows so near

His caravan waits
full circle, full mile
Slumped over green hills
brush warmth in a smile

“Let’s leave and raise anchor,”
just a figure of speech
“As we leap straightforward
there’s a lesson to teach”

The Ringmaster is ready
to bring forth what’s new
He knows the excitement
and so does his crew

They’ve made the arrangements
and taken to account
Each and every last person
with a goal to surmount

The small ones are anxious
to get a head start
Yet must follow tradition
an ancient lost art

When all are aboard
the tent spreads her wings
Bright colors of tapestry
woven from more dubious things

Into the hurricane
spin wheels of pure fire
Feeding on oxygen
cheers rise form the choir

The ascent is miraculous
so Tristan takes hold
Of the small ones and dear ones
their inhibitions unfold

So sudden comes pulling
on the wagon’s old core
Sharp cracking and splintering
invites doubt to their door

The Ringmaster is ready
shifting into next gear
Won’t be easy this time
to corner their fear

The anticipation stretched thick
as tall Georgia pine
He shouts, “Pass me that glass
of my old Spanish wine!”

“Just a small sip
fo my wits are about
Keeping goals in my sights
Keeping faithful devout”

The destination is simple
and if you don’t already know
it’s where Sea Pennies swim
and emit a strange glow

The first stop of a tour
is a showcase of wonder
Zeus pulls up a chair
and lays down his thunder

Animals of all breed
unknown creatures with big eyes
Survey the world’s stage
exchange Hello’s and Goodbye’s

Should I dare introduce
the circus key players
Who stand shoulder to shoulder
like smooth even layers?

“I am your Ringmaster
and this is my dream!”
This person journey
like an engine of steam

“Through the most narrow dark tunnel
in the end there’s a light
The tracks are sure sturdy
and the bolts fasten tight”

The Elliptical part goes around
in a constant clear spin
Makes the canyons so grand
fit the head of a pin

“It brings us together
every year, every day
Sharing laughter and joy
I’m pleased to convey”

Evolution is growth
that we strive to achieve
With each production we start
gives us chance to believe

“I’m not alone in my thinking
with me are my friends
We’ll stretch your imagination
Let’s see where it ends”

Wish and wipe the slate clean
where limitations abound
Show what hasn’t been seen
Find what hasn’t been found

I’m ready if you are
to get on with the show
The circus means Life
to those in the know

No need to give names
to the circus large cast
They are a function of sailing
the unwavering mast

They navigate the seas
dance over a wave’s curtain call
For when the sea looms large
The circus grows tall

But the sea was unhappy
with such an ambitious new guest
Poseidon crashed down
on the circus’ best

Tristan called for his map
knowing where to set course
“Put away all the telescopes
I’ll tame the seahorse!”

Off far in the distance
it made itself clear
Mountains of glory
Sorts through mist to appear

A month and a day
Spare an inch like a mile
Caravan arms outreach
for the shore’s sandy pile

Don’t know what morning
the sea broke its hold
Ringmaster’s never lose hope
in changing seasons I’m told;
This is just the first note
of an uncertain life tale
Imagine Evolution Elliptical
as a brilliant Blue whale,
which began as a thought
on an unbalanced scale

More to come…

I’ve got
Hot

I’ve got
Hot Short

I’ve got
Hot Short Red

I’ve got
Hot Short Red Hair

Look if you dare!

I’ve got–

Hair Short Red Hot
Red Hot Hair Short
Short Hot Hair Red
Hot Hair Red Short

crashing down
on my pillow
as I LAUGH
and fall back
on my bed

I’ve got–

Did you hear what I said?

What do you got?
I got red on my head
I got red on my bed

I once knew a long-haired bitch
but she’s dead–

I killed her with a snip-snip-snip
and a dye-dye-dye
then she rose again Red
with Angel’s wings!
watch her fly-fly-fly…

unbreakable bond
four years strong
plastic females trap with their plastic love
convinced they got you with what never really was
with me its different
she had 5 years of lies that left u distant
unbreakable bond unafraid, strong, black

(jaynitty and nyte, new york)

In my silence wrapped in veiled darkness
I wait…
You see I have slipped into this world of cushioned shadows…
aware
but not aware…
Sounds are far off…
Pins of light dance around like fireflies
blinking on and off…
on and off…
I float….
I am weightless…boneless…transparent…
but
I am here
I feel my heart beating
and hear my blood rushing through my veins
like the waves of the ocean.
I ride the waves
searching my way back…
looking for signs…
reaching out…
not wanting to slip further…
Must follow the light…
Must follow the sound…

Grab me…
Hold me…
Hear me…
See me…
I am here in this shell….
Breathing…
Wanting….
Loving…

I want to come back
I am fighting to come back
Look at me
Look at my eyes
Read what they say…

I do not want to fade away….
I will not fade away…

Copyright Catherine Anne Hayes © 2009

In a small pool
surrounded by sea
A cold gray blanket
let few lights break free

Then the break of the century
saw new innovation
the birth of surreal life
startled the nation

The One of the four
grew fragile but sure
and the path he knew best
was aesthetic and pure

His chums were creative
in stillness and art
yet his soul was restless
between shoulders apart

The Two of the four
had a chord as his core
and a father who loved
to dance on the door

The tilt of his eyes
hung sad at a glance
behind them a knight stood
with a long electric lance

The Three of the four
made an early hospital tour
saw many sweet things
a few feet from the poor

A gift for carefree
He could play the fool
and provide a back beat
like the old classic cool

Last the Four of the four
quietly waited for sure
and when given the chance
revealed what’s in store

Behold the Dark Horse
Whose writings grew bold
and comes with him the sun
she’s something we’re told

Suddenly a sound cried out
across the sea , clean blue
surging tide swept them up
split our minds into two

Without warning it came
this wondrous key
Breaking down walls of old class
spilling all your mum’s tea

The cry seemed familiar
but had never been heard
all around the small pool
they spread the new word

The One of the four
first found number Two
while making them smile
and tapping his shoe

The Four of the four
a chap of old Two
he’s young and included
his talent was true

In order to make Four
They needed one more
Their Best was okay
But a Starr is a score

Too large for their pool
it swallowed them whole
then spit them right out
Four minds, Rubber Soul

See the states bitter tears
signal a turn of the page
recall where we all were
fixed on Ed’s grandest stage

The masses encircled them
a new world through new eyes
filling halls with vibrations
hear the stadiums loud cries

As the seasons moved swiftly
these four winds stirred change
from twists to a Sergeant
marvel the scope of this range

The limits of what’s possible
in a sleeve of square white
a blackbird’s sweet cry
in the dead of black night

New tensions arose
pressing hard days on the four
The separation of youth
laid out on the floor

The Four of the four
felt it most, he would say
the mask of contentment
a sad little play

Spiritual in nature
and steady of mind
wanting his own simple peace
the innermost kind

At the foot of the mountain
his journey could start
what the others most wanted
shared no place in his heart

Let tidy it up
he asked of all three
walk the painted train tracks
and let it just be

The appellation of genius
now had its note
taught the world about love
in music he wrote

The Three of the four
always sat in the wings
then proclaimed in the end
what now for the rings

What a glorious time
looking back, he would say
with an octupus in a garden
he begged us to stay

In a land of sea boats
with some help from the three
this man Billy Shears
spoke directly to me

The Two of the four
felt it last, he would say
To mother sweet Mary
he knelt down to pray

One day in the life
his heart torn between
the places he remembered
as far as yesterday it did seem

Jules can’t take this sad song
and turn it around
so get back on a rooftop
make an ending that’s sound

The mystery was magical
watching life still go on
he missed being together
he missed his friend John

The One of the four
felt it first, he would say
I’ve found her, the one
and we’ve gone our own way

He stayed up in bed
and began a revolution
where peace on our earth
is the only solution

He provided a real life
that was never his own
to a small fragile one
witness a man fully grown

Suddenly a voice cried out
a different kind of scream
when the nightmare eclipses
a wonderful dream

Left her, the One
to raise her small son
she knew what he imagined
could not be undone

A loss so severe
but a strength to revere
show me the words of their music
lead me winding back here

For in the end
take what you make
a love without equal
for all humanity’s sake.

The mourning
Day breaks into little pieces
Of repetition
Swept away for every action dismissed
And being done for a reason.
Love?

Unsuitable
Would multiply headaches
Would quantify
Put the emphasis on gestures missed
Leaving the weight of a legacy on every moment
It was an opportunity to witness beauty
Witness life, in any instance
Met by her presence
And you missed them all

Try, to replay downfalls, to justify
But can only see the sunlight
The image of her, embodying it
Like it came from inside
She was a cause for: daybreak
House of mirrors reflecting her waking
Reminiscing of perfection
In every one of 
Her mornings

Nothing feels good about it
I knew where I was supposed to be
Is this what every April brings?
Went on without me, didn’t need to give the cue
Summer’s dawn has consequences
All must fall to start anew

But summer ends
Again, like the last time
This is the cycle we’re stuck in?
Hushed men carry tons
Balancing act on hunched shoulders
Always nothing to show for, unless you count
Dreams

Gold lays right below the floorboards she weeps on at night
Beneath the cold concrete that gave birth to the hard exterior
That: Maintains ground dwelling,
Gravity
Keep digging.
Holds you, holds your treasures
I never believed it
Eyes kept downward
The reason:
Only thing in those skies are fairy tales

But she was made above this
Lovely, unhuman attributes
Better than hope, aligned with seasons

She, has had it all
Came back here
And it was different
Transitory living, being.
Where, is the wanting, more?

Prepares for the impact
Every morning, he prepares
Falling away
Hard time deciding whether he should
A- enjoy the levity
Or B – get ready for the rock bottom of it all
Pain, is a feeling he cannot get use to
Knows it, has been its pupil
Wants to learn something else, for a change
But knows the lesson, through repetition, awaits his first step
So he: prepares

The cocoon that wraps him now, is warm
Like former winter nights, made possible by his mother
She, is not a factor, anymore
So he waits, wishing he could bring this with him
Like his barricade, as his protection
His armor guarding against inflictions
Or even just an explanation
To himself
“The process is necessary
Look at us, we are growing
Be proud of the ending yet to come”

But the waking sounds bring naked
Feet, against bitter, concrete
No buffers, no ifs, no buts
All those struck down by reality
So he prepares

This cocoon might hatch one day, he thinks
If he gave it more time
But he doesn’t, has never had, more time
Can’t take that chance like the next step is forgiving

Loves this place
But home leaves every time it sees the sun
One day, he will lay here forever, he promises
He promises, that one day, he will leave
When it does

Heat, sometimes
Head pulsates the heartbeat
Heavy, in other moments
The thoughts are not intangible
Anchored – I feel them

My clock is realistic, runs in cycles
And dawns only come once a day
The effects, not lasting
But the moment, was right

That’s hope
That it will come each day
Once